Beauty for Ashes
by Coneflower Adams
Summary: Fredegar Bolger had always ran from his problems, but now it's his sister's turn to runaway. Estella finds healing in the most unlikely place.
1. What Happened

_Prologue: What Happened _

The world was grey. Even a beautiful, shining sunrise or sunset was of no color but a grey blur. Estella Bolger pushed herself up every morning for the same routine everyday with barely a chance to see the sun.

The only daughter of Odovacar and Rosamunda, the Bolgers were not a prominent family in the Shire, but were minimally high up on the status scale. Rosamunda died of the Winter Sickness when her children were in their late tweens - Fredegar being two years from his coming-of-age. Odovacar had many good years with his children, but of the last couple years, he'd taken ill and never recovered. He became bedridden as his health decreased, and was so weak he needed constant care. Fredegar insisted hiring a full-time nurse, but Estella objected.

"He's our father. He wishes for us to be with him, not a stranger."

Fredegar had avoided the care of his father at all cost. During the last year of their father's illness, Fredegar had been imprisoned in the Lockholes of Michel Delving for many months during the ruffian invasion. He was rescued; though so weak he had to be carried out. It was weeks before he had the strength to walk again. Estella took care of him as well in that time. After Fredegar recovered, he was off again staying away as often as he could.

Estella remained at her father's side until the very end.


	2. No Rest for the Weary

Chapter 1: No Rest for the Weary  
  
Estella bolted from her bed at the agonizing shout of her name. She  
  
rushed into the hallway to the room next to hers. She'd lain down to rest  
  
for a minute after luncheon, but had fallen asleep. 'Blast it! You should  
  
have never lain down! You always make the stupidest mistake, Stella!' -  
  
she scowled herself, not for the first time either.  
  
"Father, Stella is here," she soothed, kneeling by Odovacar's   
  
bedside.  
  
She stroked his hair as her other hand held his. "What is it?"  
  
"I feel it, my dear daughter," Odo replied, cryptically. "It is   
  
time to  
  
go."  
  
Estella blinked back the tears that had instantly appeared in her eyes.  
  
Though she knew what it meant, she asked, "What do you mean?"   
  
"It's my time to leave you." Odo was calm and relieved, but a hint   
  
of  
  
sadness was in his voice. "Where is my son? Where's Fredegar? I wish to  
  
see him."   
  
"He's not here, father." Estella heaved, her heart breaking not only   
  
for  
  
losing her father, but for his last request as well.   
  
Odo's face twisted in pain. "I do wish I could see my son one last time.  
  
Tell him I love him."  
  
"I will, father." Estella's voice cracked.  
  
"You will do fine, my dear Estella." He squeezed her hand. "I   
  
love you."   
  
Estella remained by the bedside, holding her father's hand and weeping.   
  
The silence in the Bolger smial endured until late that night. Fredegar  
  
rode up, attended his pony, and slipped inside. He waded through the  
  
smial in the darkness, being all too familiar with sneaking in late and  
  
not lighting a candle for fear of waking someone. Tonight, there was no  
  
need for sneaking. He closed the side door leading into the kitchen when  
  
a voice scared him.   
  
"You're finally back, I see."  
  
"I had to take care of something important in Buckland," Fred   
  
replied  
  
weakly, not even convincing himself that it was true. He busied himself  
  
with lighting a candle. He regretted doing so when it flickered off his  
  
sister's tear stained face.  
  
"More important than being by your father's bedside before he died?"  
  
Fred froze. An awful sinking feeling dropped to the bottom of his  
  
stomach. "He's gone?"  
  
Estella nodded. "He asked for you. He told me to tell you he loved you.  
  
He wished to see his son one last time." She finally looked directly at  
  
his face, eyes blazing. She stood, advancing toward her brother. "You  
  
should have been here."  
  
"I'm sorry," Fred murmured, afraid to raise his voice any higher.   
  
Estella  
  
wasn't afraid, and didn't hesitate to scream.   
  
"You should have been here, Fred! But, you're never here! He needed you  
  
just as much as he needed me!" She pounded on his chest with open palms.  
  
"BUT YOU WEREN'T HERE!"   
  
Fredegar grabbed her wrist, and spun her around. He pulled Estella close  
  
to him, still holding her wrist - wrapping his arms around her waist.  
  
Estella sobbed openly.   
  
"You're a coward, Fred. You should have been here."  
  
"I didn't want to go through it again," he murmured in her ear.   
  
"Not  
  
after what happened with mother."  
  
Estella jerked free, and turned to face him. "So you just leave the sick  
  
and feeble to die alone?"  
  
"Can't you see how hard it was to see mother, and then father like   
  
that?"  
  
"I can see, because I was there day and night with both of them!"   
  
Estella  
  
started for the door. She threw on her cloak. "If that's the way you're  
  
going to be, YOU take care of the funeral."  
  
Fred raised a hand to his forehead, and sputtered, "Where are you   
  
going?"  
  
But, Estella did not answer. 


	3. Just a Little Slip in the River

Writer note: Just wanted to mention my awesome beta-read, Pervinca, who has been such a wonderful help! This chapter would of came out totally different if she hadn't stated one thing to me, and made me think about where this story was headed!   
  
Chapter 2: Just a Little Slip in the River   
  
Estella ran. Tears blinded her vision, but she kept running. Her mind  
  
left barely any room for rational thinking. All she could see were the  
  
months she had watched her father morph from the strong gentlehobbit she  
  
had always known him to be, to the invalid who needed help just to sit  
  
up.   
  
When her mother died years ago, it was quite sudden - a matter of weeks.  
  
Her father, on the other hand, had wasted away for a couple years. It  
  
hadn't been sudden and deep down, she knew to expect him to pass sooner  
  
or later, but it still felt as if her heart had been wrenched from her.   
  
Estella halted. The Brandywine River was before her. Had she ran that far  
  
that fast? She watched, absently, the moon rippling on the current. The  
  
thought of Fredegar promptly appeared in her mind, and a fresh batch of  
  
tears streaked down her cheeks. She wondered if he'd actually do the  
  
dirty work of taking care of the body and planning a funeral. She  
  
wondered if he was even still at home, or if he ran away himself like he  
  
was so accustomed to do.   
  
Estella collapsed to the thick grass beside the river, and wept into her  
  
arms until she knew no more.   
  
Birds chirped as the first snippets of the sun peeked over the trees.  
  
Estella groaned and rolled over. She lay for many minutes in a twilight  
  
sleep. The sound of the river caught her ears, and she bolted up. It was  
  
morning, and for a moment, she was dazed as to how she got where she was.  
  
The memories, though, flooded back as fast as the current of the  
  
Brandywine was running. She clutched her head, willing herself not to  
  
start crying again.   
  
She didn't cry, but stood and stopped closely near the edge of the river.  
  
Estella wasn't too fond of water, even though she had grown up fairly  
  
close to the Brandywine. She didn't know how to swim and the current -  
  
which usually ran at a good pace in this section of land - often scared  
  
her. Not today though. She crept closer and closer until her toes touched  
  
the water.   
  
'What am I doing?'   
  
The thought ripped through her, and she took a step back with one foot.   
  
'Would I let this river take me away? Will it ease the pain?' She stared  
  
into the water, and shuddered. 'No, it's not right. A harsh punishment,  
  
indeed, for Fred. I am not that cruel or angry to bring my life to an  
  
end.'   
  
She could not find a reason, but knew she desired to live. The memories  
  
of what life use to be before the tragedies melted into her mind. Estella  
  
sighed, closing her eyes. She loved playing cricket with her brother and  
  
his friends. She'd always be the last to be picked for a team (as  
  
Fredegar was never a captain, otherwise he would have picked her first  
  
thing) and she wasn't a very good player, but that didn't her from loving  
  
to play any less.   
  
A rolling field of wildflowers flashed in her mind, and she was brought  
  
to a place she hadn't seen in years. It was a field passed the forest in  
  
Buckland where the hills lobbed up and down. Wildflowers grew plentiful  
  
there, and it was a beautiful sight to see them blowing in the wind.   
  
Estella was so caught up in the world she once knew, that she didn't  
  
realize till it was too late that she was slipping on the smooth grass.  
  
She fell to her knees, feet dipping into the water. She reached to grab  
  
the long grass to pull herself up, but she slide and the current pulled  
  
her in.   
  
It felt more than an eternity as Estella struggled to break through the  
  
water's surface. She never had any formal swimming training, just her  
  
brother's friends telling her to flap her arms like a bird and that would  
  
guarantee a successful swim. She tried to flap, but the current was too  
  
much and she kept slipping in and out - water gushing into her mouth  
  
every time.   
  
Estella's strength was running low. She knew she was no match for the  
  
current, and stopped struggling. As she gave up on the world around her,  
  
a hand caught her collar.   
  
"Hurry along, Merry! We need to get to Brandy Hall before breakfast is  
  
served!"   
  
"We have time, Pip! We can squander a few minutes trotting. It's a  
  
beautiful morning!"   
  
The two cousins had decided the night before to take a trip to Brandy  
  
Hall from Crickhollow to visit for the day. The cooks at the Hall always  
  
prepared a delicious breakfast, better than anything Merry or Pippin  
  
could ever prepare. Pippin was all too hasty in wanting to be there  
  
before breakfast was served.   
  
Merry looked up the river. It was rushing fairly rapidly this morning. He  
  
squinted, his eyes catching sight of something thrashing about near the  
  
edge. He flew off his pony and to the water's edge when he realize it was  
  
hobbit struggling to stay afloat.   
  
"Merry, what is it?" Pippin called, hopping off his pony and joining   
  
his  
  
cousin.   
  
"Someone is in the water," Merry replied. He pointed upstream, and   
  
Pippin  
  
finally saw the figure. "They're coming this way. Take my hand. I'll try  
  
to catch them as they go by." Merry sounded awfully calm.   
  
Pippin grasped his cousin's hand with both of his, and helped Merry slid  
  
carefully to the water's edge. The hobbit was only seconds away from  
  
passing them. This was their only chance. Merry took a quick deep breath,  
  
and grabbed for anything his hand would catch.   
  
He caught a collar, and gripped it tightly. "Pull me up!"   
  
Pippin did not let go of his cousin until Merry was safely on shore. Then  
  
he helped pull the drenched hobbit wholly out the water. It was a lass,  
  
and her dress was rather heavy, being waterlogged. To their surprise, she  
  
was aware and started coughing and sputtering. Merry patted her back,  
  
pushing the wet hair from her face. He recognized her immediately.   
  
"Estella?"   
  
"Fatty's sister?" Pippin gasped.   
  
"Are you all right?" Merry asked, helping her to sit up. She nodded,  
  
weakly, and then began to cry. Merry cracked a lop-sided smile, wrapping  
  
an arm around her shoulder. "You're safe, Stella." He looked down at   
  
her  
  
head resting on his shoulder. She wept into his livery.   
  
Merry had known Estella since they were children. She lived in Budgeford,  
  
not too far from Brandy Hall. Merry had become friends with Fredegar,  
  
because he was friends with Merry's cousin, Berilac. Estella was always  
  
Fredegar's shadow when she was a young tweenager. There were few lasses  
  
who weren't your usual giggly, girly tween-type and weren't worried about  
  
getting a little dirt on them. Estella was one of that rare kind, and  
  
Merry always got along with her well. He did consider her a friend.   
  
He hadn't seen her much the last few years, with spying on his elder  
  
cousin, going off on the quest, and being busy with restoring the Shire.  
  
He knew her father was an invalid and that Estella was taking care of  
  
him. He had visited the Bolger smial several times to check up on  
  
Fredegar right after he was taken from the horrible Lockholes. He didn't  
  
see Estella much on those visit, because she was in her father's room  
  
most of the time.   
  
After a few minutes, Estella calmed and Merry felt it right to ask  
  
questions. "How did you get in the river?"   
  
Estella sucked in, her head still against Merry's shoulder. "I   
  
slipped."   
  
"What were you doing so close to the water to slip in?" Pippin   
  
asked,  
  
curiously. He was seated across from his two companions.   
  
"I wanted the river to take me at first, but changed my mind after it was  
  
too late."   
  
The two cousins gaped at her blunt answer. Did that mean what they  
  
thought it did?   
  
"Why?" Merry said.   
  
In barely a whisper, she answered, "My father died last night."   
  
"Oh, Stella." Merry pulled her closer, and wrapped his other arm   
  
around  
  
her. "I'm sorry, lass."   
  
Pippin just sat there quietly. Though he knew Fredegar well, he did not  
  
know Estella particularly well. Merry did, so he let his cousin handle  
  
it.   
  
"We should get you home, out of these wet clothes," Merry said.   
  
"No!" Estella pulled away from him. "I can't go home. Not right   
  
now.  
  
Please, take me anywhere but there."   
  
She was pleading, and Merry couldn't help but feel his heart breaking for  
  
the poor girl. They were at the halfway mark in-between Brandy Hall and  
  
Crickhollow. Estella most definitely would not want to be around all the  
  
bustle that was in the Hall. He nodded. "I'll take you back to our home  
  
in Crickhollow until you feel up to going home."   
  
Pippin gaped. He hadn't expected his cousin to say that. Maybe bring  
  
Estella to Brandy Hall until she felt better, but not to their own home.  
  
He didn't respond to this until Merry was helping Estella onto his pony.   
  
"Are you sure about this, Merry?" he asked in a quiet voice.   
  
"Stella needs some time away from everything. She won't be with us long.  
  
Why? Do you mind?"   
  
"I don't mind. It's just she's a very vulnerable lass right now. It's  
  
hard to tell what to do and what not to do around her."   
  
"Then let me handle her. I want you to ride to Budgeford and tell Fred  
  
she's with us."   
  
Pippin did not protest. He watched Merry climbed onto his pony, Estella  
  
in front of him, and rode back in the direction they had come. He heaved,  
  
and climbed onto his pony. "So much for breakfast." 


	4. Hiding Place

Chapter 3: Hiding Place  
  
Merry hurriedly unfastened the saddle, and stabled his pony. He sent  
  
Estella into the countrified house he and his cousin had been sharing for  
  
nearly six months. It was March, and a brisk chill was still in the air.  
  
He didn't want the poor girl to catch a cold from being sopping wet.   
  
He found Estella at the kitchen table; sniffling and wiping her face with  
  
a dry cloth she'd found lying about on the counter. A bittersweet smile  
  
crossed his face. Estella had such an enduring spirit that he was stunned  
  
to hear her say she wanted to take her own life. Odovacar Bolger was a  
  
gentlehobbit and loving father. It seemed his death was more crushing  
  
than his wife's had been to their daughter.  
  
"Would you like to take a warm bath?" Merry asked, noticing she was  
  
shivering slightly. "It will drive the chill from your bones."  
  
Estella nodded. "All right."  
  
Merry went to prepare the bath, and came back several minutes later to  
  
find Estella staring absently down at the kitchen table. He led her to  
  
the washroom, leaving her to take care of herself. He checked on her  
  
every once and a while, just in case. The last time he checked on her, he  
  
held a bundle in his arms.  
  
"Estella!" Merry called into the door.  
  
"Yes?" a muffled response came.  
  
"I'm sorry I don't have any clothes here fit for a lass. I know you can't  
  
possibly change into your wet dress, so I brought you some of Pippin's  
  
old clothes he had before we left. I'm sure they'll fit you."  
  
He left the bundle against the door, and headed to the kitchen to finish  
  
cooking breakfast. He was setting the plates on the table when Estella  
  
emerged. She looked awkward in Pippin's old breeches and button-up white  
  
shirt, but Merry didn't take notice of it. He sat her down, and proceeded  
  
to place bacon and toast onto her plate. Estella held up a hand.   
  
"I'm not hungry, Merry. Please don't waste food on me," she said,  
  
politely.   
  
"How long has it been since you last ate?"  
  
Estella thought for a moment. "Yesterday around luncheon I ate a  
  
sandwich."  
  
Merry's eyes widened. She did seem a bit underweight, at least by hobbit  
  
standers. Estella had been working herself ragged the last couple years.  
  
"You need to eat something."  
  
Estella glared at him. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry."  
  
Estella was warmed by the magnitude of compassion her old friend had  
  
shown to her so far. Merry had always been friendly to her, even when  
  
he'd tease her. He had never pulled her braids like some of her brother's  
  
friends frequently did when they were younger.   
  
Now, she was glaring at his kindness. Between the hunger burns she felt  
  
from not eating in so long and the nausea caused from emotions, she  
  
didn't feel she could stomach anything - and was surprised she hadn't  
  
vomited yet from crying so much.   
  
Merry sat beside her, his own plate curiously empty. "At least try to eat  
  
something, even if it is just a little. I won't have you fainting on me."  
  
"I am not sure if I can handle food right now."  
  
He tore a small piece of toast off, and offered it to her. "This might  
  
help. Toast always helps to calm the stomach."  
  
Estella blew through her nose, frustrated, and accepted the piece. She  
  
slowly chewed the toast and swallowed it, but another piece was waiting  
  
for her as soon as she finished. She accepted a few more pieces and a  
  
drink of water before raising a hand, saying, "That's enough. Is there a  
  
place I can lie down?"  
  
Merry stood, gesturing her to follow. "You can stay in one of the guest  
  
bedrooms."  
  
As soon as Estella's head hit the pillow, sleep took over and she was  
  
lost in oblivion.   
  
"Dear sister."   
  
Estella stirred at the familiar voice. A hand cupped her cheek, and she  
  
rubbed against it unconsciously. Fredegar smiled as his little sister  
  
opened her eyes.   
  
"Freddy?"  
  
"That's my girl." He stroked her unkempt hair.  
  
Estella drew her sleeved-arm over her eyes then sat up, looking around.  
  
She was startled at the foreign surroundings, but after a moment,  
  
remembered where she was.   
  
"Fred, what are you doing here?" she asked, swatting his hand away.  
  
"I heard you had a slip in the river, so I come to bring you home,"  
  
Fredegar answered, slightly saddened that she had pushed him away. "I  
  
took care of everything, Stella. Father is in good hands with Undertaker  
  
Brownlock, and will be buried next to Mother."  
  
Estella looked puzzled. "You took care of it that quickly? It can't be  
  
passed noon."  
  
"It's already dusk."  
  
Estella followed Fred's finger to the window. The curtains were open, and  
  
the nighttime could be seen. "Oh my, I must have slept all day." She  
  
slipped out of the blanket, dangling her feet over the edge of the bed.   
  
"I brought a fresh dress from home." Fred nabbed the dress from where   
  
it  
  
hung on the back of a chair, and handed it to her. "I'll leave you to get  
  
changed. I also brought your pony to ride home on."  
  
Estella paused, digesting the information her brother had just said.  
  
Either he did not know or did not believe that she wasn't leaving. "I'm  
  
not coming home with you, Fred."  
  
Fredegar halted at the door, and turned sharply. "Yes, you are."  
  
"No, I am not," Estella replied, firmly. She raised herself to full  
  
height, eye to eye with Fred. "Didn't Merry or Pippin tell you? I'm  
  
staying here."  
  
"Stella," Fred's voice cracked. "I need you at home."  
  
"Where were you when I need you?" She heaved, shaking her head. There   
  
was  
  
no use now, to bring up what was done. "I love you, Fred. Nothing will  
  
ever change that. But, you had your turn to run and hide when Father was  
  
sick. Well, now it's my turn to run and hide. I can't go home with you."  
  
Fred's gaze fell to the floor. Estella moved to wrap her arms around his  
  
neck, and was relieved when he returned the embrace.  
  
"They have been in there a long time."  
  
"Well, they need the time to work through their grief together. Pippin,  
  
stop that."  
  
Merry snatched the butter knife Pippin had been twirling on the kitchen  
  
table. Pippin frowned, and shifted in his chair.   
  
"Forgive me if I'm a bit impatient."  
  
"What's to forgive?" Merry shrugged, nonchalantly. "You're   
  
always  
  
impatient."  
  
Pippin glowered, but said nothing.   
  
Just then, the door to the guest bedroom opened and Fredegar stepped out  
  
alone - head hung low. He walked up to the cousins.  
  
"Take good care of my sister," he said, gripping Merry's shoulder.   
  
"I'll  
  
be back with more of her clothes in a day or so."  
  
"She really isn't going home, is she?" Merry asked, knowingly.   
  
Fred shook his head, sadly. "She's standing her ground, and I  
  
understand." He moved to the rack to retrieve his cloak.   
  
"You're leaving already, Fredegar?" Pippin asked, rising to stand next   
  
to  
  
him. "You just got here!"  
  
"I think," Fred started, trying to frame the sensitive situation into   
  
the  
  
right words. "I think it's best that I let Estella be. We haven't worked  
  
out all our troubles, but we will, she said. She just needs time." He  
  
flicked his gaze from Pippin then Merry then to the floor again.  
  
"Farewell for now, lads."   
  
He left Merry and Pippin quite speechless and motionless. They had  
  
assumed Fredegar would convince his sister to go home with him. It was  
  
not that they wanted to get rid of her, but they thought it best that the  
  
family be together at this trying time. Something was there, something  
  
between the two siblings that they did not know about.   
  
Before either one could open their mouths to discuss it, Estella appeared  
  
from the hallway. She still wore Pippin's old clothes, and her hair had  
  
been comb and braided. Her face was flushed, but the tear streaks had  
  
been washed away. They stared at her dumbfounded, though Estella paid no  
  
mind.  
  
"Have you eaten supper yet?"  
  
Pippin was the first to move, carelessly bumping into a chair on his way  
  
out the kitchen. "No, we have not," he muttered, passing her.  
  
Estella watched him hurry into the study then turned to Merry, who had  
  
stepped up to her. "Is something wrong?" she asked in concern.   
  
"Am I  
  
intruding here? Forgive me if I am. I just thought you meant…"  
  
"No," Merry cut her off. "You're not intruding. I invited you   
  
here, and  
  
if you want to stay, you can."  
  
"Why was Pippin acting like that?"  
  
Merry shrugged. "He's not sure how to act around you just yet. Trust me,  
  
if this were a situation with no grief involved, he'd be fawning over  
  
you." He said the last part with a smile.  
  
"I trust you know your cousin."  
  
"A little too well, but I'm not complaining."  
  
Estella nodded absently, reassured by Merry's response. She stared around  
  
the kitchen. It was a fairly good size, though a little smaller than the  
  
one at the Bolger home. The counter was surprisingly clean. She noted not  
  
to underestimate menfolk when it came to cleaning up.   
  
"What would you like for supper?"  
  
"You don't have to make supper," Merry replied, quickly.   
  
"It's the least I could do for you two."  
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
Estella stared Merry directly in the eye, trying desperately to keep  
  
herself calm. When she was upset, her temper would usually fly off  
  
without her and sling the first person it came in contact with. She took  
  
a deep breath, and pleaded, "Just let me do this."  
  
Merry nodded, backing off. He'd never gotten to be around Estella when  
  
her mother died, so he really had no knowledge of how she handled death.  
  
He'd only seen her at the funeral, weeping and being comforting by her  
  
Father. Then, two months, she appeared again, seemingly all right. If he  
  
could handle traveling thousands of miles from home, get dragged over  
  
Rohan by orcs, and nearly lost from stabbing the Witch-king, he could  
  
handle this lass in mourning.  
  
"Let me show you where everything is." 


	5. Saying Farewell

_Chapter 4: Saying Farewell_  
  
A messenger had appeared at the doorstep of the Crickhollow house giving word of the funeral, which was to be held in Budgeford. Estella had retreated to her room for the rest of the day. Merry checked on her often that day, and Pippin went back to scavenging the pantry during mealtimes.  
  
The next morning, Fredegar arrived with a caseload of Estella's clothes – most likely every article of clothing she had ever owned. Estella finally emerged. She greeted him silently, and they both went inside while Merry and Pippin helped the carriage driver haul in Estella's trunk. They were leaving that afternoon to travel to Budgeford; the funeral would be held the following morning.  
  
Estella waded through the trunk, tossing out skirts and bodices and dresses onto the bed. Half of her wardrobe was made up of clothes owned by her mother. She let out a sigh of relief when she found what she had hoped was in there. She pulled out a pale yellow dress. It wasn't of any fancy design - just an old, plain, fitted dress - but her mother had loved it very much and wore it often. Estella laughed through her rising tears at the stain under the right sleeve.  
  
It had been over twenty years ago, when Estella was a child; she had accidentally spilled juice on the kitchen floor. Rosamunda gently told her daughter to retrieve the mop from the supply closet. Before Estella could return, Fredegar had traipsed in, not watching where he was going, and slipped on the juice! It was a candid sight seeing Fred with a large spot of purple juice on the back of his breeches. They weren't sure, though, how it flew so high to actually land on Rosamunda's sleeve, but a spot of the purple juice was there for a whole two days before Rosamunda realized it. She was unsuccessful in extracting the stain on the sleeve (and Fred's breeches), but that didn't stop her from wearing it.  
  
Estella hugged the dress close to her. She hadn't realized how much she missed her mother until just then. They were both gone now, and she would miss both terribly. Estella shook her thoughts away, and went to tell her brother she was ready to leave.  
  
She found Fredegar, Merry, and Pippin in the great room sitting close to one another in armchairs. They were talking, and Estella pulled up short to listen when she heard her name mentioned.  
  
"Has Estella been keeping herself busy?" That was Fred.  
  
"She's cooked some of our meals," she heard Pippin answer. "I compliment her on her cooking, which really is very good. But, mostly, she has stayed in her room or the garden."  
  
"I keep an eye on her." That was Merry. Estella moved a little closer to hear him better. "I know she will not do anything wrong to herself, but I hate to leave her alone."  
  
"I do appreciate what you and Pippin have done for my sister."  
  
"We will follow behind the carriage to Budgeford."  
  
Fredegar waved a hand. "Merry, I don't want you to feel obligated to do that."  
  
"Fredegar," Merry said, gripping Fred's shoulder. "We'll follow out of respect."  
  
He was honestly touched, and Fred smiled because of it. Estella felt it was her turn to show herself, and she walked out from the hallway. "I am ready, Fred," she announced. All three lads stood at her entrance into the room.  
  
They left after a short, quiet teatime. Fredegar and Estella disappeared into the carriage while Merry and Pippin saddled their horses. Then they started off for the ten-mile journey to Budgeford.  
  
A closed, wooden casket sat at the front of a wide, brown field. Pavilions were scattered over the field. It was actually a sunny day with a slight breeze blowing. Estella did not desire to join the mass of hobbits that had gathered there. It was hard enough staying with the relatives.  
  
Aunt Corilla, her father's sister, doted all over Estella until she felt as if she would be smothered to death from too much attention.  
  
"Would you like some tea, dear? You're so pale; you need to lie down! I can see your father in your eyes."  
  
The last statement was said through tears. Estella held back her frustration, and escaped to the guestroom. Aunt Corilla had been the only other caretaker for Odovacar, but mostly in his early stages of illness. Corilla was several years younger than her brother, and had a large family of her own. She had not the time to help with caring for Odo. But when there was time, she'd reprieve Estella of her duties for a little while.  
  
Now it was time for the funeral, and Estella was dreading every moment of it. Fredegar was there, though, by her side. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, and he pulled her close to him.  
  
"I do not wish to go through with this," Estella murmured in Fred's ear. "I will to mourn on my own."  
  
"But, we aren't mourning, Stella," he assured, loosening his grasp to look at her. "We are celebrating Father's life."  
  
Estella shook her head. "I cannot celebrate when I know how he suffered. Not even you, Fred, knew how he suffered in the last stages."  
  
Fredegar did not argue. He frowned, knowing it was the truth.  
  
When all were seated and quieted, Fredegar and Estella stood before the crowd to start the string of eulogies. Fred cleared his throat. "I thank you all for coming in respect of our father, Odovacar Bolger. I know he would truly appreciate all the fanfare just for him, and he would also hope that we celebrate his life instead of mourn him." He threw a sharp glare at Estella by his side, but she was looking at the ground. "We'll miss our father, but it is best that he is not suffering anymore. Let us feast and fellowship in his honor."  
  
Fred turned to his sister, waiting for her to speak, but Estella shook her head and whispered to him, "I have nothing to say." Fred sighed then led her away. Corilla and her husband came up after them.  
  
Many folks stood to say nice little somethings about Odo, but Estella paid no mind to the eulogies. After a while, it was over and the celebrating broke out. There would be no viewing of the body, by both Fred and Estella's request. They politely thanked everyone personally who attended, but Fred did most of the talking.  
  
After their rounds of the crowd, Fred would not leave his sister's side, which all the more frustrated Estella. Fredegar had always gotten things backwards. 'He stays by my side when I least need him, and disappears from me when I most need him.' She bit her lips from bursting in anger, but she soon found a way to 'relieve' Fred of his watch over her.  
  
"Why don't you go to her?"  
  
"What?" Fred switched his gaze from the crowd to look at Estella in confusion.  
  
"I know you have been keeping company with Melilot Brandybuck."  
  
When Fred threw her a look that bordered on question and bashfulness, Estella answered, "I've been staying in the same house with Peregrin Took. Don't think his mouth doesn't run, especially after a mug of ale." She pushed Fred's shoulder. "Go to her. I'll be all right."  
  
Fred cracked a small smile. "Thank you, Stella." He kissed her on the cheek and went to greet Melilot at her table.  
  
Estella thankfully sighed. She wished she could vanish right there, but there was no hope of that happening. She could, however, leave. 'Hurry away before Auntie Corilla comes after me with more pity.' She thought for a moment that her attitude was too harsh, and slight guilt came over her. It didn't last long. She had a good reason to feel frustrated, and she wasn't going to cover it up for anyone.  
  
She stood, locating the one person she did not feel maddened by. "Merry," she said softly, touching his shoulder. Merry turned from the group he was talking to, surprised.  
  
"Yes, Estella?"  
  
"I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving for Crickhollow."  
  
He stepped away from the group, and murmured, "Right now?"  
  
Estella nodded. "I can't be here any longer, and I do not desire to go back to my Aunt's smial."  
  
"You want to go back to your refuge," he answered for her. Then he smiled and took her hands in his. "I understand. You are welcome in Crickhollow as long as needed. Pippin and I will be behind you shortly."  
  
"You do not need to for my sake; I'll be fine. But please tell Fred I have left. I do not wish to hear his begging's for me to stay. I could not resist this time."  
  
"I will inform him of your whereabouts."  
  
"Thank you, Merry." 


	6. Exploring Common Ground

_Chapter 5: Exploring Common Ground_

Estella stared silently out the window of the carriage for a long time before lying down across the seat, falling asleep. It was night when the carriage driver opened the door, waking her. She thanked him, and slipped into the cottage then to her room. She threw herself on the bed, and fell asleep once again. She did not wake until morning.

The cottage was quiet, and she wondered if Merry and Pippin had come back. She did not expect them to come back so soon, but Merry had said they'd be right behind her. She carefully opened the closest bedroom door near hers, which was Pippin's. She could not see him, but she could tell he was there. A long lump lay completely under the covers. She quietly closed his door then moved to Merry's bedroom.

Merry's door was open a crack, so Estella peeked in. He was asleep as well, though his upper part was halfway out of the blankets. She watched him for a minute, taking in the peacefulness that was on his face. No need to wake her two charges. She moved away down the hallway to the kitchen. She retrieved a loaf of bread and a jar of jam from the pantry then sat at the table to eat a light breakfast.

It was near two hours later when a sleepy Pippin came wandering into the kitchen. He stopped at the sight of Estella standing at the sink, scratching his head.

"Good morning, Pippin," Estella greeted through gritted teeth as she scrubbed the dirty frying pan that had not been cleaned from the morning before last. "What would you like for breakfast? Though it is nearly second breakfast now."

Pippin blinked then rubbed his dusted eyes on his sleeve. "Morning, Estella. It doesn't matter what you fix. I'll be happy with anything."

"Good." Estella rinsed the frying pan out, and set it on the stove. "I already whipped up some batter for hot cakes."

Pippin scrunched his nose. "Hot cakes?"

"Pancakes," a voice behind him answered. Pippin turned to see Merry walking up, also looking very tired.

"Oh." Pippin nodded as he sat then cracked a smile. "Sounds lovely."

Merry trudged over to the sink, pumped some water out into his hands, and splashed it on his face. Estella was in the middle of pouring the batter for a hot cake, but stopped in mid-pour to watch in distaste.

"Do you always do that here?" asked she.

Water dripped from Merry's face. Pippin laughed into his arm. They had not lived with a lass for a very long time, picking up certain habits that might not be proper around others. Merry was more proper than most, but he had his faults as well, and washing his face in the kitchen sink was on of them.

"Usually, yes," Merry replied as Estella handed a rag to him.

"Well, could you please stop doing it here." There was no anger or crudeness in her tone, but Estella's face was stern. When a lass looked like that, you knew not to tangle with her. They started to wonder if it was truly a good idea to have invited a lass to come live with them, but the scrumptious hot cakes (with delicious blueberry syrup) proved worth of the small adjustments they'd need to make.

After breakfast was over and the dishes were washed, the two cousins went to get dressed. When Merry emerged from his room, he could not find Estella anywhere in the cottage. He and Pippin had no plans for that day (save to ride over to the Brandywine Inn and have a few drinks that night). He walked out into the garden. The morning dew had already dried, and the flowers that had opened that day were standing tall – basking in the sun.

He rounded a vine-covered lattice that encircled a wooden bench, and found Estella sitting there. She was seated on the grass, skirts tucked under her knees, an elbow resting the bench. She was wistfully running a finger delicately over the petals of a white daylily. He watched her for a whole minute before Estella looked up, a bit startled to see him there.

"Merry," she said, red flowing to her cheeks from embarrassment. "How long have you been there?"

"Not long." Merry smiled. "May I join you?"

"I guess a bit of company won't hurt." She scooted over to give him more room. "I must ask, doesn't your cousin need watching over?"

"Pippin can take care of himself."

"I know that, but I fear for the pantry's safety," Estella replied, dryly.

Merry quirked an eyebrow then chuckled, wagging a finger at her. "I see you're wit is still intact."

A pause fell between them. Merry watched Estella unconsciously rub the soft petals of the daylily. The lattice blocked out the sun, making it cool in the little area they sat in. Estella looked up at Merry, not meeting his eyes, and with one finger, gently touched the scar above his left eyebrow.

No one save for Pippin (that he knew of) had ever touched the scar before. Merry's mother, Esmeralda Brandybuck, had gasped in horror at the sight of the brown line across her son's brow. And, other's had gaped in wonderment at it. Estella's expression was not horror or speculation, but quite unreadable.

"Did you receive this in the Battle of Bywater?" Estella finally asked, pushing Merry's hair up to get a better look at the scar. "I never had seen it before."

"No." Merry half-chuckled, half-smiled. "It is a recent scar, but not from that battle. I received it during my travels in the far lands. Though I was quite helpless when I acquired it."

Estella lay her hands in her lap, and averted her eyes to the grass. "I remember being called to Brandy Hall one afternoon. Fredegar had, had an encounter with these shadowy figures and was in shock. Father could not come, so my Aunt watched over him while I set out for Buckland. Freddy was shaking all over and muttered about the Black Riders coming to get them. It did not take us long to connect you and your cousins to who 'them' were.

"Later that night, Fred was better and I could talk to him. I asked where you four had gone to and why, but all he would tell me is you took a detour into the Old Forest. Then a shadow passed over his eyes, and his voice dropped to an eerie whisper. He said the reason for all the strange happens was something far above any of us, and that it was extremely important."

She raised her head again, meeting Merry's eyes. "What was so important and above us that you four had to do?"

Few folk had asked about the four Travellers' doings while they were in the far lands, and even fewer knew their story. Merry had only told his father, because Saradoc had pressed him for it. He and Pippin had also told Fredegar, but left out most of the dreadful parts, for old Fatty would not take them so well especially after his encounter with the Black Riders.

"Most of our story is dark and frightening" Merry started, somberly.

Estella shook her head, and sounding determined, "I stopped fearing the dark when I was a small child. I can handle whatever you have to tell."

"All right, but stop me if it becomes too much."

So, it was that Merry lead Estella through the tale of the Four Travellers from the conspiracy of the Ring all the way to the breaking of the Fellowship at Amon Hen. It seemed nothing shook or surprised Estella. No warg attacks or battling orcs or a cave troll made her flinch in fright.

When Merry talked of Gandalf's fall then of Boromir's death, his eyes welled up and his voice strained. "That's how I received this scar. The Uruk-hai were not gentle in their handling of us."

Estella's stone face melted into sympathy, even sadness, and she took Merry's hand in hers. "You need not go on if you don't want to," she murmured.

Merry heaved. "I will go on if you want me to."

"I do want you to, because it is such a fascinating story. But, you can always tell me the rest later."

Merry nodded, licking his lower lip. "Do you really think it's fascinating?"

"I mean what I say, Merry." The flat sternness in Estella's voice rang out once more, and Merry smiled despite the somber mood around them. "What happen to you and your companions is not an ordinary occurrence for a hobbit, though it seems the Four Travellers are not ordinary hobbits themselves."

"I'd say the same about you."

Estella let out an unbelieving huh at that.

"No, it's true," Merry went on, unperturbed. "I cannot see why I teased you as a child."

"Don't fret over that. You weren't as horrid as the lads who pulled my braids or splashed water on me when they had the chance."

"That's one thing I'd never do to a lady."

Estella cocked her head at Merry's wording, wondering why he used lady instead of lass. She waved the thought away by fiddling with the daylily beside her. Merry watched intently, realising for the first time that he had not seen Estella smile once since she'd come to live at Crickhollow a week ago. He understood that she had no reason to smile or laugh or be cheerful lately, but he wished she would smile. Seeing her finger the flower gave him an idea.

Merry looked out the shady area at the sun. "I think it's time for luncheon."

"Better hurry in before the pantry becomes so empty you could use it for a spare bedroom," said Estella, in the dry tone again.

Merry stood, laughing, and helped her to her feet.

The next morning, Estella found the cottage utterly quiet. She crept to the kitchen to start mixing batter for biscuits. As she reached to pull an earthen bowl from the cabinet, a sunny voice at the window made her nearly jump out of her skin.

"Good morning, Miss Estella!"

Estella glared at the hobbit leaning on the windowsill, holding a hand to her heart. "Merry! Stop surprising me like that!"

"I'm sorry, Stella, but I was supposed to surprise you this time."

Estella looked at Merry as if he were mad. "And, why?"

"To give you this." Merry raised a hand from behind his back, and held out a white daylily. Estella screwed her face in confusion for a moment then her features softened and she took the daylily from Merry.

"Thank you, Merry."

Merry smiled, and he thought he saw the smallest hint of a smile on Estella's lips.

Everyday after, there was a daylily waiting for Estella on the windowsill of the kitchen. It became such an expected routine that she left a vase on the sill, and collected the dried petals of the flowers to make a potholder.


	7. Not a Care

_Chapter 6: Not a Care_  
  
It was peaceful living at Crickhollow. There weren't many residents near by, so most days were quiet. Merry and Pippin ate breakfast and second breakfast there, but were usually out riding for the rest of the day. Sometimes they'd come home late, a little off their stool from too much ale. They also visited Brandy Hall at least once or twice a week. Merry invited Estella to go, but she refused most of the time. Though she had a few distant relatives living there and would take tea with them, she felt awkward visiting. She tried to avoid the Master and Mistress of the Hall. They knew she was living in the Crickhollow cottage with their son, and it felt to Estella that their eyes stayed on her disapprovingly. She didn't much mind if they approved or not, but she didn't have to sit under their glares.  
  
Most days, Estella was alone in the cottage. She cleaned what needed to be cleaned, and kept up the garden. There was a gardener that came out every week, but he didn't stay long since there was not much to do. Estella ventured into town to pick up groceries and supplies, though very seldom.   
  
The best days were when Merry and Pippin stayed home. They ate all their meals together, Estella cooking the breakfasts and dinner; her companions preparing the other three meals that hobbits ate. The three groomed their ponies together, and after, would take short rides through the countryside. Pippin had a small workshop on the second floor of the stable where he'd work on who-knows-what. He always kept his projects secret until he was ready for the grand reveals.  
  
Merry, on the other hand, spent a lot of time in his study writing various articles in a large black book. Estella would sit in the overstuffed green chair near the hearth, and listen to him talk on whatever subject he was writing on that day (but usually it was of herb-lore). He was so enthusiastic about his findings that they never bored Estella, even if the subject could be a bit dull at times.   
  
One afternoon, there was a knock on the front door. Merry stopped in mid-sentence, and said, "I wonder who that could be."  
  
He and Estella went to see. A stout lad wearing a blue uniform and hexagon-shaped hat stood on the porch holding two large, white envelopes.   
  
"Good day, sir," he greeted. "Mail for a Mr. Peregrin Took and Mr. Meriadoc Brandybuck."  
  
"I am Meriadoc Brandybuck, and I'll accept the other one for Mr. Took." Merry accepted the envelopes, thanked the mail carrier, and closed the door.   
  
Estella peered around his arm, curiously. "What is it?"  
  
Merry carefully opened the seal, and drew a sheet of parchment out. The flowing letters were written in fine gold ink. Merry recognized the handwriting as his elder cousin's. He read the parchment for a moment then let out a snorted laugh. Estella threw him a sidelong look. She could read, and there was nothing funny about what this parchment had to say.   
  
"What's so funny about a wedding invitation?" she asked, bewildered.   
  
"Nothing." Merry shrugged. "Pip and I are standing as witnesses in it, and have known about it far longer than anyone else. I didn't think we'd both receive invitations to it." He pointed to the very bottom of the page. "It says here that you are invited as well."  
  
Estella glanced to the bottom, and sure enough, her name was there. _We cordially invite Miss Estella Bolger to attended as well._ She had heard a great deal about Samwise Gamgee marrying his lifelong love, Rose Cotton. It was a popular subject in their quaint household. Merry and Pippin had been to Bag End a few times to help with preparations, or at least, provide support. They had only gone twice since she came to live with them, and both times, Estella stayed at Crickhollow. Even though they had met, she did not know Frodo Baggins or Samwise Gamgee well and had not ever met Rose Cotton. She felt it would be best to just stay put.   
  
She could not, however, turn down the invitation to the wedding. Estella wasn't too fond of the ceremonies, but the celebrations after were quite exciting. Merry turned to her, smiling mischievously. "Looks like you have no choice but to come with us to Hobbiton now."  
  
They rode off together two days before the wedding on May 1st. Instead of staying at Bag End, they had to settle for rooms at The Green Dragon. Merry and Pippin shared a room, but Frodo would be joining them at the inn after the wedding. He decided Sam and Rose needed to be alone in Bag End on their wedding night. Since Fredegar was also attending, Estella would stay in his room.   
  
"Fred and I lived together all our lives. Sharing a room won't hurt us," Estella protested when Merry offered to pay for a separate room for her.  
  
It so happened that Fredegar was barely in the room the four days they were in Hobbiton. There was much celebrating even before the actually wedding. The first night they were there, Merry and Pippin and a small group of Sam's friends and relatives, hosted a party for Sam at The Green Dragon. It was a rowdy time, and lasted far into the night.   
  
Estella could not sleep because of the noise, and poked her head out the door every time she heard footsteps on the stairs. One time, quite early in the evening, she saw Frodo Baggins trudging his way to his cousins' room next door. He was unsightly pale, and had a distant look in his eyes. Estella wondering if she should ask him if he was all right but put it off as having too much to drink.   
  
The day before the wedding, Estella spent the day with Melilot Brandybuck and her older sister, Mentha. Fredegar had insisted the lasses get to know each other better. It was a matter of time, Estella figured, before Melilot became her sister-in-law, so she obliged and enjoyed her day with the (supposed) future in-laws.  
  
Finally, it was the morning of Samwise and Rose's wedding. Hobbits were bustling around the Party Field like ants on a mound. But when twelve o'clock came, all the guests were seated and watched intently as Sam and Rose said their vows. It was a beautiful sight, the pair standing under the young, shimmering mallorn tree, clasping hands and not noticing the multitude of guest before them. A small smile crossed Estella's lips, and accidentally, her eyes met Merry's (who was standing beside Sam). She held his gaze for a moment then turned just in time to see Fred raise Melilot's hand to his lips.   
  
There was something freeing about that moment that Estella hadn't felt in a very long time. Everyone was happy, even poor Frodo Baggins, and she couldn't help but broaden her smile.   
  
The celebration afterwards was a grand one. Though Sam and Rose said they did not want a large reception, Frodo insisted on it and they gave in. There were dozens upon dozens of tables scattered around the field with flickering, gold lanterns hanging from tree branches. A long, extended table, longer than any hobbit had ever seen or dreamed of, was covered with every kind of food you could imagine. A raised platform held a four-piece band that played any request.  
  
Estella was alone at a table encircling the dance area. Many of the younger hobbits were dancing the Springle-ring, or many other dances known in the Shire. After a few times around the circle, Melilot grabbed her hand, and dragged Estella out onto the grass to have a go at the next dance. Somehow she ended up with Fred during the first slow trot.   
  
"Having a good time, Stella?" Fred asked, placing a hand on his sister's waist and taking her other hand in his.  
  
"Yes," Estella replied, considerably light. "I am, indeed."  
  
"Glad to hear that." Fred grinned, but there was an unsettling glint in his eye. "Are you ready to come home yet?"  
  
Estella's fair expression instantly changed into suspicion. "No. I enjoy living at Crickhollow. Merry and Pippin are good companions, something I thought I'd never admit."  
  
"Well," Fred started, uncomfortably. "I really wish you'd come home. Seeing you ever so often is just not enough. I miss my little sister."  
  
Estella laughed bitterly. Fred sounded like a child. He hadn't called her his 'little sister' in many years. "I'm sorry, Freddy, but I'm staying where I'm at."  
  
"But, Stella," Fred's tone became lower. "There are rumours going around."  
  
"Rumours?" Estella scrunched her nose. "Like what?"  
  
"It's not proper for an unmarried lass to live with two bachelors. Folks around Budgeford and Buckland have been lowering you down to being a maid of that household. Do you know what that says about our family? We're not servants, Estella, and I don't care if you aren't their maid, the rumours should be snuffed out. You need to come back home."  
  
Fredegar had a talent for running the wrong way. That is why this little speech he gave did not surprise Estella. She stared at him, eyes blazing in anger. For a minute, she felt sorry for Melilot for getting involved with her brother.   
  
"And be your maid? Fred, I don't care what other folk think. We know the truth that I'm not, and that's all that matters."  
  
"But it does matter!" Fred voice rose, and he gaped at her.   
  
"I don't care. Let people think I am a maid!" She pulled away from Fred, glaring hotly. "I was right about you, Fred. You are a coward, and always will be."   
  
With that, Estella stalked away, weaving through the tables – not noticing the stares from others as she went by. She would have stormed right up to The Green Dragon and ordered a malt beer (which was highly improper for a lass to do), but her act of frustration was not meant to be. She trimmed the edge of the Party Field when a hand caught her arm nearly propelling her to the ground. Estella stared up, wide-eyed. Merry stared back at her, concern etched on his features.  
  
"Estella, what happened?" he asked, steadying her.  
  
She shrugged him off. "Fred is being his downright shrewd self tonight. I am not in the mood to put up with it."  
  
"But you appeared to be in a fine mood earlier," Merry exclaimed. Then his eyebrows knitted together. "What did he say that upset you?"  
  
"Nothing of your concern," Estella hurried out.   
  
Merry stepped closer, and held Estella's chin so she would look at him. "When it comes to you, it is my concern. I look after you, and I don't care if Fredegar is your brother and my good friend, he'll need to answer to me for upsetting you."  
  
Out of all the things Merry had told her, this surprised Estella the most. On the verge of angry tears, she hissed through gritted teeth, "Why?"  
  
"Because, you are a part of my family, just as Pippin or Frodo or Sam or my parents. I care about you, Estella, and I hate seeing you hurt." He did not give her time to respond to this revelation, but if he had, Estella would not have known what to say. He had left her speechless. "Come back to the reception. I haven't had the pleasure of dancing with you yet."  
  
He clasped her hand, but she did not budge.   
  
"I can't go back over there. I made a scene stomping off like that, and facing Fred again…" She shook her head. "I hope Sam and Rose forgive me for that. But going back, no thank you."  
  
"I'm sure they didn't even notice being too caught up in each other. If you won't go back, then will you dance with me here?" Merry asked.   
  
The edge of the Party Field was unoccupied, but they could still hear the band playing from the other side. Merry would not let go of her hand, and Estella didn't try to pull away. The music was slow (the bride and groom were taking their first spin as husband and wife). Merry pulled Estella to him, and she laid her head on his chest feeling rather dejected.   
  
The music faded, and the crowd clapped for the bride and groom. It took a good thirty seconds for Estella to will herself to pull away from Merry's grasp. The warm, content feeling had returned, and she glared up at Merry mockingly.  
  
"I should throttle you right now."  
  
Merry screwed up his face. "And, what did I do to deserve a throttling?"  
  
A ghost of a smile crossed Estella's lips. She poked Merry's chest with her finger. "You, for reasons unknown, know how to treat me in any mood I'm in."  
  
"It's a gift." Merry smirked smugly. 


	8. No Fear

_Chapter 7: No Fear_  
  
A desperate banging boomed through the cottage waking the three occupants inside. Estella was first at the door, throwing on her night coat as she went to answer it. But, Merry grabbed her arm before she could.  
  
"No telling whom it could be at this hour," he told her, pulling her behind him. "Let me answer it."  
  
Estella did not argue and stood back, Pippin now beside her. Merry cracked the door open. They could see his back rise up and down in a relieved sigh. "What is so urgent to wake a whole household in the middle of the night, Doderic?"  
  
Doderic Brandybuck stepped inside, bowing slightly. "I am sorry, Cousin Merry, to disturb you." The poor tween was flushed in the face and sweating, his eyes wide in fright.  
  
Merry's somber expression switched to worry. "Is it my parents?" That would be the most obvious assumption since Doderic lived at Brandy Hall.  
  
"No," Doderic replied, heaving. "About an hour ago, one of the Shirriffs in the lowest part of the East  
  
Farthing came upon a band of ruffians who must have been keeping secret in those deep woods. The Master knew you and Peregrin would need to hear this."  
  
Merry nodded, placing a hand on the younger hobbit's shoulder. "Thank you for riding out here to tell us."  
  
"Merry, we must see to it those ruffians are extracted!" Pippin exclaimed, suddenly by his cousin's side.  
  
"Was the Shirriff sure that they were ruffians he saw? Not just folk from Bree?" Merry asked Doderic, and for the moment, ignoring Pippin's rash conclusion.  
  
Doderic nodded then gulped. "Yes. There were about four of them, looking exactly like the ruffians who use to be loitering in the Shire. They were sitting 'round a fire cursing halfings. It's a wonder Berto came across them and was not caught himself."  
  
"All right." That was all the information Merry needed. "Go back and fetch the Shirriff and some sturdy fellows that know how to handle ruffians. We'll meet you on the road heading toward the East Farthing."  
  
"Will do, Cousin Merry." With a bow, Doderic was out the door and gone.  
  
"Let us get ready, Pip," Merry said as he turned, but Pippin was already halfway down the hall.  
  
Merry followed, brushing passed Estella and giving her a solemn nod. She watched him disappear into his room, and stood rooted in place for several moments - fearful thoughts racing through her mind. She had not had the chance to see the two Captains in action the first time they'd extracted the ruffians. She was busy caring for her father and Fredegar, and barely knew what else was going on around her.  
  
Fredegar had battled the ruffians as well when he led a small group of rebels. Estella was also in the dark when that was happening. She worried herself sick over Fred when he had led the rebellion, but could not do anything about it. She could, however, do something about this.  
  
Now a fear for her two charges, which she had unconsciously claimed care over, were riding out into danger. She knew they could take care of themselves, but she couldn't help desire to go with them just to make sure they'd be all right.  
  
Without even knowing for sure what she was doing, Estella rushed to her room and shut the door. She threw on Pippin's old shirt and breeches that she kept in her trunk for certain situations. She was dressed before Merry or Pippin was, and ran to the stable to ready the ponies.  
  
Estella was just leading the ponies around the cottage when Merry and Pippin stepped outside. All three halted when they met about halfway around the cottage. Though she had seen them in their livery several times, Estella had never seen them wear their swords. Merry also wore the Horn of Rohan on his belt.  
  
The moonlight illuminated their figures, causing long shadows that fell over Estella. There was fierceness about their presence she had not known before. They seemed more out of a dark story, and Estella drew back, her own imagined fears taking hold of her for an uncontrollable moment.  
  
"Stella, what are you doing?" Merry's voice cut through the dimness, and Estella felt the imagined fear pass instantly.  
  
"I've readied the ponies," she murmured, handing them their reigns.  
  
"But, why are you dressed and leading your pony as well?" Pippin asked, taking his pony's reigns. "It appears you're coming with us."  
  
"I am coming with you." There was no doubt in her tone, and that made Merry clinch his fist.  
  
"No, you are not. It is too dangerous for a lass."  
  
She stared straight at his face, a fierceness of her own in her voice. "Yes, I am. I do not fear danger. I do fear the safety of the ones I care for." For a moment, a new light fell on Estella and the image of the Lady Eowyn passed through Merry's mind eyes. He did not want her to go, but he could not command her to stay.  
  
Taking his reigns from her, he said, "You may ride with us to the road, but from there, we'll see."  
  
When they reached the road leading to the East Farthing, Merry tried again to convince Estella not to go. "We need to ride in haste. I do not want you in danger, Estella. Ride back to Brandy Hall."  
  
But that did not work, and Estella was among the band as they followed the Shirriff who had seen the ruffians early that day. Doderic and his brother, Ilberic, had been assigned to watch over Estella. They made up the rear of the band, Estella riding between them. It took an hour, but they finally made it to the area the ruffians had been spotted.  
  
"If the ruffians come upon us by surprise," Merry told Doderic and Ilberic, "drive Estella to safety." With that, he, Pippin, and Shirriff Berto Gobbs faded into the darkness.  
  
It seemed every member of the band held their breath as they waited for the Captains and Shirriff to return - bows and arrows ready in their hands. Tension rose in Estella's chest, and she had to grit her teeth to keep it down. Every painful and terrifying moment of the story of the fellowship Merry had told her suddenly struck her memory. It had been worse for the Nine Travellers, but she couldn't imagine.  
  
Her thoughts were quickly thrown away as shouts were heard at a distance. Two tall, dark figures came barreling from the woods heading straight for the band of hobbits. They were Men baring weapons resembling pipes. The armed hobbits shot at the ruffians, hitting one in the shoulder, but it was not enough to bring him down. The ruffians came pelting forward, swinging their weapons at the mounted hobbits.  
  
Doderic let out an urgent cry, and turned his pony to ride away from the attack. Estella, however, was not by his side. His brother, Ilberic, had been caught in the mix of confusion, trying to help fend off the ruffians.  
  
Upon the surprise attack, Estella's pony reared in fright and took off in the direction of where the ruffians materialized. A pipe narrowly missed Estella's head as she drove by one of the maddened men. Clove, her pony, galloped through the woods, dark shadows of trees flying by. Estella held tight to Clove's barrel with her knees, pulling on the reigns as hard as she could. Clove finally slowed to a trot.  
  
"It's all right, Clove," Estella soothed after she had caught her breath. She patted the pony's neck. "We must get back." She turned Clove around, but before the pony could start off, a giant hand wrapped around Estella's waist - lifting her off the saddle. Another giant hand slapped over her mouth.  
  
A cruel voice slithered into her ear, "H'lo, lil' filth. I got a present for you."  
  
Estella's mind reeled. She had, had some encounters with ruffians during the invasion. A few men would come to the Bolger's doorstep, demanding her to bring out half of the household's food supply. Estella always stood her ground, never letting on at how intimidating they were to her. But, this ruffian could vanish into the black night with her, and she'd never be seen again. She had a reason to live, and she didn't want that reason to blame himself for letting her ride into danger.  
  
Her hand grazed a handle at the ruffian's side. A dagger! She grasped the handle best she could, and struggled to pull it out. With all her strength, Estella plunged the blade into the ruffian's side. He yelped, dropping her to the ground. Estella landed on her feet, but was off balanced and fell to her knees. The ruffian was right behind her, grabbing at the dagger in his side.  
  
Estella got to her feet, and screamed at the top of her lungs, "HELP! MERRY! PIPPIN! DODERIC! HELP!" She started to flee, not knowing which way to go, just trying to get as far away from the threat as possible. She hadn't gone far when the giant hand seized her ankle. Estella hit the ground on her belly. She tried to scream again, but the wind had been knock out of her on impact.  
  
The ruffian tugged her onto her back using his uninjured side, and she saw his ugly, contorted face glaring down on her in the vague moonlight. As soon as she thought she would never see the light of day again, a moving shadow appeared. It slashed at the ruffian's back then stabbed him. The ruffian crumpled, nearly falling on top of Estella. She shrunk away, kicking her ankle from the man's hold.  
  
She looked up to see a raised sword gleaming in the moonlight. The dark figure on the pony drew closer. Estella did not hear what the figure was saying. She was too caught up with staring blankly at it.  
  
A hand touched her shoulder, making her jump. "Stella, it's me, Pippin," a familiar voice sounded close to her ear. Then an arm encircled her, and she clung to the hobbit behind her.  
  
"Stella, are you hurt?" asked another voice. Merry emerged from the darkness, kneeling in front of them.  
  
Estella shook her head, and replied, "No, I don't think so. Is he…?"  
  
"Yes," Merry answered before she could finish the question. She hid her face in Pippin's shoulder. Merry frowned deeply, cursing himself for letting Estella come. Anger boiled inside him as the thought of the ruffian attacking Estella ran through his mind. He reached out to rub her shoulder, wanting dearly to hold her himself.  
  
Just then, a pony galloped up and Doderic was at their side. "Miss Bolger, are you all right? I was about to have you flee with me, but you had disappeared and I couldn't find you in the chaos. I am terribly sorry. I should have kept watch better, but…"  
  
"Doderic," Estella murmured, taking his flailing hand. "It's all right. My pony was spooked, and there was so much confusion about the ruffians."  
  
Doderic nodded, and let out a sigh of relief.  
  
The band of hobbits regrouped at a clearing in the woods. Two in the band were injured, but not critically. Two of the ruffians fell, but the other two escaped, though one was injured. Merry heaved as he contemplated the decision on what to do next. They would stay to search the woods for the remaining ruffians, and bury the ones who fell. Doderic, however, would be bringing Estella to safety. Her pony, Clove, had not shown itself since running off during the ruffian ambush. Estella worried until Clove finally trotted up. She rode away with Doderic, Ilberic, and the two injured hobbits.  
  
She would stay at Brandy Hall, by Merry's orders, until the search party returned. Estella tried to talk Doderic into bringing her back to Crickhollow, but he refused, not wanting to disobey the future Master. Time at the Hall was made easier now that Estella was friends with Melilot. The worried girl wisked Estella away to her bedroom in one of the many wings of Brandy Hall, and cleaned her up. She slept in Melilot's bed most of the morning then wandered into the dining room off the kitchen around afternoon tea.  
  
The rest of the day was spent fretting over Merry and Pippin. Estella walked the gardens with Mel, but grew tired of doing nothing and made her way to the sewing room. Sewing was one way to keep her hands and mind busy, and that was exactly what Estella needed.  
  
It was passed supper, and the search party still had not arrived back. Estella sat on a chair in the parlor, staring at the door. She was just dozing off when the door opened. She bolted upright, any trace of sleepiness gone. Some of the hobbits she did not know walked in first, and she frowned ready to ask what had happened after she left. But then, Pippin came through the door, looking exhausted. He gave her a tired smile.  
  
"It's good to see you, Estella," he said, hugging her.  
  
"What happened? Did you find the ruffians?" she asked, pulling away.  
  
Pippin lowered his head as if troubled then replied, "We found them." Then he said Merry would be in shortly and bid her a goodnight.  
  
When he walked into the parlor, Merry stopped at the sight of Estella waiting there anxiously. He stared at her, guilt flooding his eyes. Estella shook her head, and rushed to embrace him. "It wasn't your fault. I knew the danger was high, and I went anyway. Forgive me, please."  
  
Merry sighed, drawing her away. "You did nothing wrong, Stella. As long as you're not hurt, my mind will be at ease. I wish I could have protected you better."  
  
"You saved my life," Estella emphasized. "You protected me well enough. Now get to your room before you fall over from exhaustion. I do not wish to see you until morning after you've had a good night's rest."  
  
Despite his tiredness, Merry managed a cheerful smile. "Yes, m'dear." 


	9. To Tell a Tale

_Chapter 8: To Tell a Tale_  
  
The familiar sound of ponies trotting caught Estella's ear, and she smiled with delight. Her two charges were finally back from their two week visit to Bag End. It had taken some convincing, but Merry had let Estella stay at Crickhollow as long as Melilot and Mentha came to stay with her. The lasses had a lovely time, and it was a great change for Estella to have female company for such a long period of time. The sisters had to be back at Brandy Hall though, and Estella was left to herself for two days. The lonely pangs had started that morning, but now Merry and Pippin were back.  
  
She stepped outside the round door to greet them, but found three riders instead of two trotting up. The smile Estella wore sunk slightly. The third rider was Frodo Baggins. There was something about him that made Estella nervous. She knew he had done a great deed for the Shire, though she still didn't understand the full concept of the One Ring. Merry hadn't continued the story of the Quest since the first week she had come to live there. She wasn't going to ask for the rest of the story either. It had been hard enough for him to get through the lightest parts.  
  
"Hello Stella!" Pippin greeted, hopping off his pony. "How was your visit with Melilot and Mentha?"  
  
"Hello Pippin! It was very pleasant to have them here," she answered, patting his pony's neck. She watched Frodo slide off his own pony. "I see you brought home a guest. Good day, Mr. Baggins."  
  
"Good day, Miss Bolger," Frodo greeted, pleasantly. He smiled at her, but it was a sad smile. "I've been assured that you would not mind a third companion for a couple weeks."  
  
"I would not mind, but I cannot see where I have authority over that matter." Estella glanced at Merry, who had joined them as well, but he just threw her a small smile and did not respond to the exchange. Instead, he grabbed for Pippin and Frodo's reigns.  
  
"I will see to the ponies," he said, before leading the ponies to the stable.  
  
"I will help," Estella offered, following behind him as Pippin and Frodo made their way with their bags into the cottage.  
  
Merry began un-strapping the saddles as Estella fetched water and oats for the ponies. It was a routine they had done dozens of times together. But when Estella had done her chore, she leaned against the stall and watched Merry absently stroke his pony with its brush. His face appeared troubled over something, but what - Estella wondered.  
  
"Is anything amiss, Merry?" she asked.  
  
"What?" Merry looked at her as if he'd just realised she was there. He shook his head. "Nothing, Stella."  
  
"I assume you had a fine time in Hobbiton?"  
  
"Very fine, lass." He replaced the brush in the bucket hanging on the stall, and pushed his way out the stall door. "It was a pleasure to see Sam and Rosie finally together. Rosie fed us well, though I prefer your cooking over any other's now."  
  
Estella lowered her head, blushing. She followed him as they left the stable.  
  
"We were such good company to Frodo, he finally accepted the offer to come and stay here for a couple weeks before the Free Fair during mid-summer. I am glad of that. I worry over him often."  
  
"I can tell."  
  
With that, they stepped into the cottage and said no more on the matter.  
  
Putting aside her nervousness, Estella tried her best to make Frodo comfortable. She only spoke to him when he spoke to her; it was safer that way. She wasn't quite sure how to talk to him yet. Maybe because there was something about him that haunted her. She wished she knew why.  
  
During the day, the cousins kept company with one another either outside walking the countryside or in the study talking for hours. They were in the study mostly in the evening, leaving Estella alone to cook supper. She'd call them for supper, and afterwards, they'd sit outside by the earthen firepot and smoke their pipes. Estella enjoyed the time, sitting quietly beside the cousins as they recalled mischievous stories of childhood. She knew Merry and Pippin were little scoundrels as children, but was surprised to find Frodo created some of his own mischief as well. He seemed to light up unexpectedly as they told the stories.  
  
One night, eight days into Frodo's stay, Estella stirred from sleep. Sweat lay heavy on her brow; her heart beating rapidly. She had, had an awful dream, but could not remember it. Awful dreams were common in the cottage, mostly among her two charges. They never talked about their late night travesties - Pippin pacing up and down the hallway or Merry sitting at his study desk rubbing his eyes furiously - but Estella had witnessed them several times. She knew, though, to respect their privacy when it came to matters of their journey.  
  
She had interrupted Pippin's pacing one night in her first month there. He snapped his head toward her, eyes wide and frantic and staring wildly at her as if he wondered why she was there. Estella stood rooted in her spot until he shook off his crazed expression, grabbing her by the arm and leading her back to her room. He warned her, stern but gently, not to disturb him or Merry when they were awake in the middle of the night.  
  
Estella's own dreams of death and loss weren't as devastating, but they did shake her up a bit. She paddled into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.  
  
"Couldn't sleep either, Miss Bolger?"  
  
Estella nearly dropped the glass she had taken from the cabinet. She steadied herself on the counter, and turned to face her overlooked company. "Mr. Baggins," she huffed, breathlessly.  
  
"I am sorry if I frightened you." Frodo stood, leading her to a chair. "What do you need?"  
  
"A glass of water," she replied, sitting. "But I can get it myself."  
  
"That's all right." Frodo moved to the sink to pump water into Estella's glass. "You've waited on me quite enough these passed days."  
  
"Thank you. You are most kind," she said, taking the glass from him. Frodo sat down beside her. "But you do not need to apologise for frightening me. It is dark, and I should have lit a candle before traipsing in here." She took a sip then sat up straight, remembering Pippin's warning. "I'd best get back to my room."  
  
Estella nearly let out a squeak when a hand caught her wrist. "Miss Bolger, do you mind keeping company with me for a small while?"  
  
"No, I do not, Mr. Baggins." She sat back down in the seat she had occupied.  
  
The silence of the night surrounded them for several minutes. Estella fidgeted, desiring to ask Frodo why he was awake and why he wanted her company. It was then that she noticed a faint light illuminating under the table. She wanted to peek and see what it was, but Frodo seemed to not have noticed it.  
  
Her curiosity was cured when he set a small crystal phial on the table. It glowed soft light at his touch that bathed the kitchen with light and made shadows melt away. Estella's jaw dropped open, her eyes fixed on the phial. She had never seen such a wonder in her life! How did it glow?  
  
"A light in dark places." The murmur brought Estella out of her trance. She raised her eyes slowly to meet Frodo's.  
  
"If you do not mind me asking, Mr. Baggins," Estella started, hesitatingly, "what is it, and where did you come by this light?"  
  
" 'Tis the Star of Earendil. It was a gift from the Lady of the Golden Wood." When he noticed the puzzled look on Estella's face, he added, "She was an elf - Galadriel of Lothlorien."  
  
Estella nodded. "Oh, yes, Merry mentioned her in his tale of the quest."  
  
Frodo cocked his head slightly. "Merry has told you about the quest?"  
  
"Not the entire story, only until the breaking of the Fellowship." A pained expression crossed Frodo's brow like needles had been stuck into his skin. Estella, knowing the sensitivity of Travellers, hastily changed the subject. "Are you finding your stay enjoyable?"  
  
Frodo's face lifted and he smiled, though a sad smile. "Yes, it has been a pleasure to have such a long visit with my cousins. We have not been together this long since we arrived from our journey. You are quite a mistress of this home, Miss Bolger. How has your time been here so far?"  
  
Estella averted her eyes to the table, running a delicate finger around the rim of her glass. "Very well, though at times, terribly rough. I find myself milling over the details of my father's illness, but it is not as prominent as it was when I first came here. I enjoy keeping the cottage in order, and watching over my two charges."  
  
"Wonderful to hear. I was surprised when my cousins informed me you had come to stay with them. It's not everyday a hobbit-maiden comes to stay with two bachelors, but I understand your need to."  
  
Estella stared deeply into Frodo's blue eyes, finding a mix of emotion from sorrow to joy to something unknown. But, she also saw an understanding of loss. "Thank you, Mr. Baggins."  
  
Frodo nodded in reply. "Not to sound too blunt, but do tell, have my cousins behaved themselves as gentlehobbits should?"  
  
It took a moment, but Estella finally nodded vigorous as if to emphasize her answer. "Yes, they have very much so. Though I am surprised Pippin has not tried anything. He is quite a rascal. Maybe it's our age difference."  
  
Frodo laughed inwardly. "Yes, the age" he said then in a whisper which seemed not to be for Estella's ears, "and, you're much more suited for Merry."  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Baggins?" Estella said softly, wondering if she had heard right.  
  
"Oh, nothing," Frodo replied, waving his hand as if shooing a pesky fly away. He stood suddenly. "I must get back to my bed before the night is worn away. Thank you for keeping me company, Miss Bolger. I feel somewhat better. It was a nice to finally talk with you alone."  
  
"The same, Mr. Baggins."  
  
She had slipped in so quietly, Merry nearly jumped out his chair when her face appeared beside him. "I see you're most comfort here, you walk in unannounced or permitted," he jested, replacing his quill in its holder.  
  
"Please forgive my disrespectfulness, Merry." Estella lay a hand on his arm. "But, I need to know now."  
  
Merry quirked an eyebrow at her. "What is so important that you need to know now?"  
  
"I have respected yours and Pippin's privacy for a good while, and have restrained from asking, but please finish what you have started!"  
  
At Estella's desperate plea, Merry heaved exasperatedly. "What is it that I have started, lass?"  
  
"You never told me the rest of your story," she began, hurriedly. Merry straightened in his chair, slightly alarmed. "I was not going to ask, but how did you and Pippin escape those monsters? And, what happened to Frodo and his gardener? I can tell it was something troubling; it's written on his face."  
  
Merry smile for a brief moment then the smile faded. "Very observant, Stella. I'll tell you what I can of the rest of the story. You may read it in whole when Frodo has finished writing it. Does that suit you?"  
  
"It will suit me just fine." Then she waited for him to begin.  
  
Merry moved his chair sideways to face her better. They would be alone for most the day. Pippin had taken Frodo fishing by the Brandywine. It was his day to spend with their elder cousin, and knowing Pippin, he'd take up the whole day.  
  
"Boromir had died shortly after we were capture, though we did not know for sure until later," he began. For most of the story, Merry kept his eyes locked on the floor or his hands, only looking directly at Estella during the lighter parts of the journey. It was plain to see why Merry did not desire to talk about the quest. Estella was enthralled by the description of the Ents then horrified at the attack of the Witch-king on Pelennor Fields. She finally was told the importance of the Ringbearer's task. The ring desperately need to go into the fiery pit that was Mount Doom so all of Middle-earth could escape the clutches of this evil spirit that would consume all. She would never look at Frodo Baggins the same again.  
  
When Merry's tale came to an end, he met her eyes, tears glistening in his. He had held the tears back for the entire story, but now they threatened to wash away his steely exterior. Estella automatically reached out, and embraced him. He returned the embrace, clinging to her for support.  
  
"I'm so thankful to be home; to see the Shire again. To know that we are all safe, and no harm will come again."  
  
"Now I too can be thankful for what has been done to save this world." Estella pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes and his, as well, with the trim of her apron. "Thank you, Merry, for telling me."  
  
Merry grasped her hand, brought it to his lips, and pressed a gently kiss on top. "You are truly welcome, Stella." Then he moved away from her before he went too far. "Let us see to supper. Pip and Frodo will be home soon. I'll help you tonight." 


	10. It's Only Fair

Chapter 9: It's Only Fair

Frodo's visit came to an end the Wednesday of his second week at Crickhollow. It was planned for all four to travel to the Free Fair together in Michel Delving. The Free Fair was the largest and most popular event in the entire Shire. Hobbits from all four farthings came to sell and buy goods grown or raised or made, enter contests, play games, and of course, eat and gossip. Due to the Occupation the year before, there had been no Fair. But this year, it was going to be bigger than ever.

"Come now, or we'll be late!" Pippin called from the front doorway of the cottage. He was practically bouncing as he waited for the others.

"It's a heartening sight to see you so excited, Pip," Frodo said, making his way to the door carrying a brown satchel - wearing a cheerful smile.

"This will be the first Fair for which I have my own pony to enter in the pony races," Pippin replied, watching Frodo walk passed him to the stables. "I do not wish to miss my chance to enter!"

Merry appeared beside him holding a small shoulder bag. "We will be there in time, cousin," he reassured, then followed Frodo.

"ESTELLA!" Pippin called, after a minute passed of waiting in bursting impatience for the last of the household to emerge.

A door slammed and hard footsteps paddled up the hallway. Estella brushed passed him carrying a satchel, and muttered, "You're impossible."

Pippin grinned broadly and shut the door.

The trip to Michel Delving would take two days, or three days at most. They traveled at a good rate that Wednesday, making it all the way to Bag End by midnight. Sam had stayed up waiting for them. But when they entered, tired and sore, they found Sam asleep in the rocking chair near the hearth. Frodo woke him, and sent Sam to bed, which was just what the rest of them did as well, and the other three followed his lead.

The sun had risen too fast for Estella, but she dragged herself out of bed and shuffled into the Bag End kitchen. Rosie was already there, preparing breakfast. Her face brightened in a smile upon seeing Estella.

"Good morning, Miss Bolger! Rested up?"

Estella snorted loudly, then covered her mouth. "I'm sorry. The bed was much up to comfort, but I do think I need a little more rest."

"That is quite all right, Miss Bolger." Rosie removed several stripes of bacon from the frying pan, adding a few eggs sunny-side up to simmer in the grease. "I understand having to travel so far yesterday."

"Thank you, Rosie. I know we've only met once, but please call me Estella. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Rosie, still smiling, shook her head. "No, you just rest yourself. I'll take care of breakfast."

While Rosie cooked, the two lasses chatted and got to know each other better. Rosie was a very easy lass to talk to, and didn't hold back at chatting about basically anything. When they heard movement coming down the hall, she sent Estella to the cellar to retrieve the milk.

After breakfast, Merry and Pippin offered to clean up and Estella added that she'd start on second breakfast. Sam and Rosie went to pack the box wagon borrowed from the Cotton Farm. Frodo elusively disappeared into his study until second breakfast was served.

They left Bag End half an hour after second breakfast: the four companions riding their ponies; Sam and Rosie driving the wagon packed with food, blankets, and bedrolls. They had no goods to sell, but they weren't worried. They knew that next year's Fair they'd have plenty to bring.

The companions traveled at good rate that day though sometimes, out of anxiousness or excitement or both, Pippin would spur his pony and race up the path. Merry would let out a mock-heave and take off after him. Sam and Rosie were completely oblivious to anything around them. They sang and laughed together in the pony trap - Sam holding the reigns with his right hand, Rosie cuddled under his left shoulder.

There was much chatter between the four companions about past Fairs and how wonderful they had been.

"Merry," Frodo started, trotting beside his cousin. "Remember the year we lost Pippin?"

"How could I forget?" Merry answered, a grin spreading across his lips. He glanced to his right at Pippin, who slapped a hand on his face and shook his head in a manner of 'not again'.

Estella perked in curiosity. Frodo took noticed, and went on. "Our lil' Pip was four years old that year. Merry and I gave in to his pleas to be brought to see the stock animals. We became distracted around the goats." Merry chuckled under his breath at the shared memory as Frodo continued. "Pippin wandered off. We frantically searched everywhere for him, and finally found lil' Pip in the pigpen wallowing with the pigs."

Merry erupted with laughter. "He was covered from head to toe in mud!"

"The pigs were better playmates than you two were," Pippin accused. "I honestly believe you wanted to get rid of me."

"Oh, we never want to get rid of you, Pip," Frodo said, smiling innocently.

Pippin only mock-pouted in reply, and turned to Estella. "Which is your favorite year at the Fair, Stella?"

She pondered for a moment peering out at the rolling fields they were passing then answered, "It was the year the strawberries were plenty and sweet. Freddy and I were in our early tweens. It was Freddy's idea to snatch a whole basket of strawberries. We hid just outside the Fairgrounds, and ate until they were all gone. We were sick the rest of the day and in horrible trouble, but it was worth eating those delicious strawberries."

Her companions laughed aloud. "Leave up to ole' Fatty" Merry added.

It was dark when they arrived on the bordering edge of the Fair campgrounds. Tents and wagons of all shapes and colors littered the wide field. Small fires here and there flickered like orange stars. It had been decided last they had seen Fredegar that Merry, Pippin, and Frodo would stay with him in his tent while Estella stayed with Melilot in her family tent. Fred and Melilot's tents were staked up next to each other, which didn't surprise them. Sam parked the wagon on the other side of Fred's tent. He and Rosie would sleep under the stars inside the box of the wagon.

Everyone ate a quick supper then were off to bed.

Estella woke to the sounds of hobbit folk bustling all around. Melilot's father and mother were gone along with her older brother, Merimas. Melilot was awake, but Mentha lay still on her bedroll, sound asleep.

"Good morning, Stella," said Melilot in a dreamy voice. "How did you sleep?"

Estella sat up, stretching. "Very well, thank you."

"Merimas' snoring did not bother you?" Melilot asked, standing and helping her friend up as well.

"I don't recall hearing any snoring."

"You're lucky! Massy is loud enough to wake folks in the next farthing."

"I'm use to sleeping through snores. It must be from all those years of having a room next to Freddy."

"Freddy snores?" Estella laughed at Melilot's stricken look.

After nearly dragging Mentha from her bedroll, the three lasses washed and dressed then had breakfast. The day was sunny and clear. The Fairgrounds were teeming with hobbit folk wandering through booths and the stock tents. The pony track was farthest from the campgrounds, on the other side of the stock tents.

The lasses strolled through the crowd, arms linked together, halting at craft booths to admire the talent displayed. At elevenses, they finally met up with some familiar faces as they waded through the camping tents to their own.

"Sister! Mel! Where have you been?" Fredegar asked, tromping up to them and kissing their cheeks.

"Exploring," Melilot said, teasingly.

"Hello!" a chipper voice greeted.

"Hello Pippin, Merry!" Estella greeted back as the two cousins walked up along with another Brandybuck cousin she recognized as Berilac. "Have you lads eaten?"

"That was our next stop," replied Pippin, grinning.

"Come with us," Estella said. "We'll feed you."

They ate luncheon together, chatting lively about happenings of the Fair. Pippin was bursting with excitement. The first pony race was set between luncheon and afternoon tea. Fred, Merry, Pippin, and Berilac hurriedly ate the sandwiches and apples the lasses gave them, and were off to prepare for the race. The lasses were not far behind them. The stands would be filling up fast, and they wanted to get a good seat.

Standing at the bottoms of the stands Frodo. Estella waved and stepped up to him.

"Good day, Mr. Baggins."

"Good day, Miss Bolger," Frodo greeted, smiling. "I am waiting for Sam and Rosie. Would you lasses care to join us?"

Estella looked at Melilot and Mentha, and they nodded. The newlywed Gamgees came soon enough, and all six hobbits found an empty space at the top of the stands they could all fit on.

Less than five minutes later, a horn echoed through the stands. The crowd was on it's feet, cheering. The ponies were off! Merry and Pippin weren't hard to spot. Their livery gleamed above all other garb, and they were, of course, the tallest hobbits in the race. Estella followed the ponies, enthralled by the energy filling the racetrack. Pippin was in the lead with Merry not too far behind, and Fred two ponies behind them.

She could hear to the left of her Sam screaming, "Go Pippin!" And to her right, Melilot and Mentha screaming, "Hurry Freddy!" Above all the noise, Frodo was laughing to near tears next to her. She glanced at him, surprised and delighted to find him so jovial. She did not know whom to root for, but on the last round, she saw Merry bend low to his pony's ear. Then the pony shot off, right passed Pippin and into the lead!

Estella gasped, delighted beyond belief. She finally settled for a name. "Go for it, Merry!" And the race was over. Estella hopped on the balls of her feet. Merry had won!

Frodo was first to make it out of the stands. He dashed to the finish line, and caught Merry in a hug as he slid off his pony. Estella more slowly made her way from the stands. The crowd had already started to leave. She walked over just in time to see Mayor Whitfoot presenting Merry with a blue ribbon and a bag of silver coins.

"Congratulations!" Estella said, catching him around the neck. "I thought for sure Pippin was going to win."

"I thought I was too," Pippin muttered, holding his red ribbon limply and pouting.

Merry pulled away, holding Estella's waist. "Well, you know me. I'm full of surprises." Then he turned to Pippin. "Oh, stop sulking!

"Don't worry, Pip. There's always next year," Frodo added, clasping his young cousin's shoulder.

"Be thankful you got second place," Fredegar roughly put in as he walked his pony toward them. "I didn't even make it in the top three."

Melilot swept over, throwing her arms around him. "It's all right, Freddy. I think you did wonderfully, even if you didn't win a ribbon."

He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Thanks, Mel."

"As a consolation," Merry started in the direction of the stables. "I'll buy you two a few rounds of ale in the beer tent."

Pippin grinned, and Fred shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

Merry nodded then grabbed Frodo's arm. "You're coming too."

"No, really I…"

"Yes, you are," Pippin said, nabbing Frodo's other arm. "And you too, Sam! Come on!"

"Goodbye, lasses! See you tonight!" they shouted to the four lasses behind them as they made off for the stables.

Night had fallen, and supper had passed. The lads still hadn't made it back. As Melilot and Mentha helped their parents clean up after supper, Estella went to keep Rosie company as they waited for the lads to return. They sat on the back of the wagon, staring at the stars.

"Stella, may I share a secret with you?"

Estella looked at Rosie, startled. They had really just gotten to know each other a few days ago. "Well, I suppose," Estella sputtered, uncertainly. "If you trust me enough."

Rosie touched her hand. "Oh, I do trust you. You're very soft spoken and kind. Why, I doubt you wouldn't harm a fly."

Estella looked into her lap, sheepishly. "I don't know about that; maybe swat at one if it's by my food."

Rosie laughed then said in a whisper, "I think I'm with child."

Estella snapped her head up to see Rosie smiling broadly. She smiled back. "Oh, dear, I think that's wonderful. But you're not sure yet?"

"I've had all the signs of carrying. Now I must wait for my belly to grow to be completely sure."

"And it's only been two months since you and Sam were wed."

Rosie blushed; making her cheeks even redder in the firelight that drew shadows from nearby tents. "Well, we've been busy."

Estella let out a rare giggle. "Sam isn't as shy as he seems."

They talked for a while longer until a figure Rosie recognized right away came trudging to the wagon. Rosie squealed, and went to Sam. Estella watched, content at the sight of the newlyweds lovingly greeting one another. She sighed deeply, a pang of forlorn rising in her. She pushed off the wagon.

"I'll leave you two to each other," Estella said as she passed them. "Good night."

"Miss Bolger." Sam nodded to her, shakily. Merry's winning must have bought more than just a few mugs of ale.

"Good night, Stella," Rosie said, hugging her. "Thank you for keeping me company."

Estella did not much feel like preparing for bed. The stars were twinkling even brighter now that most fires were burning low. Sitting on the bench outside her brother's tent, she watched the stars a bit more while waiting for the rest of the lads. But she heard rustling in the tent.

I didn't see anyone else walk up with Sam - she thought. The rustling continued, peeking Estella curiosity. She cracked open the tent flap.

"Oh!" she gasped. "I'm sorry, Mr. Baggins. I wasn't sure who was in here."

"Quite all right, Miss Bolger," Frodo replied, tying his nightshirt closed. He stepped up to the flap.

"I'm waiting for the lads to return to wish them a good night."

"I think they will be around shortly. I would have returned sooner, but they literally manhandled me to stay. Thankfully Sam was there, though sluggard he was, to free me from my cousins' grasps!"

"Well, I hope they do not stay much longer."

"Oh, I assure you they will be back soon. Good night, then."

The flap fell closed, and Estella retreated to the bench again. It was soon when her ear caught snatched of song being sung by slurred voices. Some shouts from nearby tents were telling them to be quiet. Estella groaned as the voices drew nearer. She knew exactly whom they belonged to.

"If it isn't my baby sister come to tuck us in, no doubt!"

Estella got to her feet as they approached, Fred and Merry dragging Pippin between them on their shoulders. The poor tween's head bobbed dangerously.

"Fredegar Bolger, keep your voice down!" Estella hissed. "Folk are trying to sleep!"

"Oh, they'll get over it," Merry informed as he and Fred deposited Pippin onto the bench. He fell to the bench with a thud nearly sliding off. Fred and Merry didn't appear to be worried.

"It's awfully rude to wake them," Estella said, pushing Pippin safely back on the bench. "You two are drunker than a Breeland mull. It's high time for bed."

"You're right, little baby sister." Fred grabbed Estella, squeezing her until she could barely breathe. She smacked his arm getting him to let go. "Take Pippin with you, Fred. He doesn't need to stay out here all night."

Fred wobbled over to the bench, hoisted the taller hobbit with much difficulty on his shoulder, and trudged into the tent.

Estella turned to find Merry grinning wildly at her. His eyes gleamed in a strange light. "Good night, Merry. Sleep off your strong drink," she said, hurriedly. She brushed passed him, but he stepped in front of her, taking hold of both her forearms. She stared up at Merry, biting her lip nervously.

"You are the most beautiful hobbit lass in all the Shire," Merry announced. Estella stood, rooted to the ground, heart pounding - whether out of thrill or fear she could not tell. Merry's hold on her arms tightened severely as he leaned closer toward her. She tried to pull away, but could not.

Drunk and out of sense, Merry's lips connected with the spot between Estella's right  
cheekbone and bridge of her nose.

"Get away, you sluggard!" Estella yelled, jerking out of Merry's grasp. He stared at her, glassy-eyed and confused. "Get in that tent this instantly!"

With that, she stalked away.


	11. Come Together

**Chapter 10: Come Together**

Estella stayed behind to clean up second breakfast the next morning by herself. Melilot had offered to help, but Estella insisted she needed some time to herself. She could not keep her mind from milling over what happened the night before. She trusted Merry over anyone as of the last few months, even her own brother. He hadn't done her wrong yet, but now?

A small part of her felt delighted that he told her she was beautiful and tried to kiss her, but then she remembered he had been drunk and could possibly have said that to any lass, including an old gammer. Estella huffed, anger welling up and contorting her features. She plunged the plate into the soapy water of the basin, and scrubbed roughly.

"Good morning, Stella," a mild voice greeted behind her.

Estella stopped in mid-scrub then started again, not looking behind her. "Hullo Merry," she said, curtly. "What do you want?"

"I have your flowers. I'm sorry I forgot to bring you one yesterday. I brought two today to make up for it. I also could not find daylilies, so I pray that daisies will suffice."

Estella turned sharply, nabbing the flowers from Merry's outstretched hand, and laying them beside the basin. "Thank you."

Merry furrowed his brow, frowning. It was hard for Estella to hide her anger. Merry caught her hand as she moved to set down a plate in the stack.

"Is something amiss?" he asked. "Has Fred upset you?"

"No," Estella answered immediately, trying to pull away from Merry's grip. He held her tightly. "It is not Fred who has upset me."

"Then, who did?"

She glared hotly at him expecting Merry to realise it was him she was angry just by her expression. But Merry stared back, confused. "I can only read your mood, Estella, not your mind."

Estella heaved. "Last night, I waited for you, Pippin, and Fred to return so I could wish you three 'good night'. But you came back late and drunk."

Merry winced, remembering just a few hours ago waking up with a regretful headache. Sam had given Pippin, Fred and him an herb-tea that helped ease it. "I am sorry we kept you waiting."

"That's not it!" Estella finally pulled away from him, the plate she held nearly flying from her hand. "Pippin was stone drunk, and Fred was close behind. I sent him, carrying Pippin, into the tent. You, however, stayed out with me. I tried to leave, but you caught both my arms and would not let go. You were inches from my face when you said I was the most beautiful lass in the Shire then you tried to kiss me."

Merry looked horror stricken. Of all the foolish things! "I am terribly sorry, Estella. It's been years since I drank like that. The beer tent was full, and every hobbit in there offered to buy us a mug. I should have known better, being a Knight of the Riddermark." He bent to one knee, grasping Estella's hand as gently as he could. "Will you ever forgive me, Miss Bolger?"

Estella stepped back, but did not retrieve her hand from Merry's grasp. He peered up at her, eyes hopeful. He did look truly sorry, it was only one incident, and he was one of her dearest friends. "I forgive you."

Merry let go of the breath he did not realise he had been holding. He kissed her hand. "I am most glad to hear."

"Now that I think of it," Estella said as Merry got to his feet, "the kiss was rather humorous."

"Oh, really?" he asked, curiously. "How?"

"You missed."

Merry furrowed his brow. "I missed?"

"You missed my lips and landed here." Estella pointed to the spot beside her nose, under her eye.

Merry chuckled in relief. "I am truly sorry, but I must clarify one thing: you are a beautiful lady."

"Thank you." Estella blushed, and she noticed for the second time that he had called her 'lady'. "Flattery is unnecessary, you are forgiven."

"I mean it," said Merry, seriously. "Now may I ask for your company? I must search for fairings for certain hobbits, and could use a bit of help, if you don't mind."

"Not at all! I, myself need to buy some fairings as well."

The crowd was rather tight. Even more hobbit folk had arrived for the Fair, and wading through the paths between the booths was a chore. Twice Merry and Estella lost each other until Merry took Estella's hand, keeping her close to him. Estella felt odd and slightly apprehensive at first with her hand firmly held by Merry, but she grew use to it and didn't mind when he did not let go as they strolled through the less crowded area of the fairgrounds.

They wandered into a somewhat overlooked booth near the edge of the fairgrounds. The owner was a traveling merchant, and spent his time crafting and collecting things to sell.

"Look at this" Merry said, lifting a wooden figure of a falcon to examine. "A Peregrine Falcon. Perfect for another Peregrin." He went to ask the merchant what it cost.

Estella poked about the tables. Her eye caught a cane with beautifully carved vines trailing up the sides. She picked it up, and went to join Merry and the merchant.

"A cane? Why a cane?"

"It's a beautiful piece of work."

"But for Pip?"

Estella shot Merry an abused look. "Sometimes he needs a cane. I'm not blind, Merry. I know Pippin limps sometimes at the end of the day."

Merry 'hmph'ed. He knew Pippin limped, and the reason why, as well. He and Pip never talked about it, but the lingering war-injury from the troll could not be hidden all the time. "I'm sure he'll like it."

They passed a few booths without speaking then Estella let out a small gasp. She strode over to a painting leaning against a table leg. She picked it up, eyes wide in wonder.

"I can't believe it," she said in amazement.

Merry peeked over her shoulder to see. The painting was of a rolling field with yellow flowers blanketing it. On the bottom right corner it read "Butter Field".

"Isn't Butter Field the land beside your smial in Budgeford?" Merry asked.

"Yes, it is," Estella answered, smiling. "I would wake up every morning, and see the field with its yellow flowers through my window. I cannot fathom who would paint it. I wonder how much it is?"

They looked around to find a sign that read: "All paintings 80 farthings".

"Bothersome," Estella muttered. "I do not have enough."

"Maybe I can bargain with the merchant." Merry suggested, but Estella raised a hand.

"No, don't go to the trouble."

Merry didn't protest. But as they left the booth, he saw Estella eyeing the painting of Butter Field with longing.

They arrived back at the campgrounds a little before luncheon. Rosie and Sam were at their wagon preparing for the meal. They asked if they could use their wagon as storage for the fairings until that night when the fairings would all be exchanged. Rosie and Sam were fine with it, and invited Merry and Estella to eat with them.

After a pleasant lunch, Merry and Estella separated with both similar excuses of needing to find someone. They did not see each other again until after dark.

The bonfire in the middle of the field roared and lit the grounds. Quilts dotted the grounds with hobbits of all ages occupying them. Young children ran and played. A short platform was set up opposite of the bonfire, torches on either side lighting it's surface.

"What a Fair this has been!" Pippin exclaimed. "It has been one of the best save for the fact that winning the race was snatched from under me." He threw a look of contempt at Merry, but his older cousin - with many years of practice - ignored it.

"Are you positive you want to give up your position as deputy mayor, Frodo?" Fred asked from his place in one of the corners of the quilt, Melilot beside him.

Frodo sighed. "I need to finish my book."

"You're already a hermit when you're not outside Bag End," Merry started, slightly frustrated. "And you rarely get out. Isn't that right, Sam?"

Sam held up a hand in defense. "I try my best to get him out."

"So do I," Rosie added.

"I do not want to discuss this. It is done with," Frodo said firmly, and stood. "I propose we exchange fairings before the speeches begin."

Everyone agreed.

Merry moved to Frodo first giving him a new pen set. "For the hermit of Bag End and his writing."

Frodo scowled at the comment, but only for a moment. He could never stay angry with his cousin. "Thank you, Merry. I'll put it to good use."

"Baby sister." Fredegar approached his sister holding something behind his back. "I have a surprise for you."

Estella smirked, a memory from many years ago playing in her mind. "I have a surprise for you too, Freddy."

They chortled seeing each other's fairing. They both held a basket of bright red strawberries with a small jar of cream inside as well. As they exchanged baskets, Estella saw for a brief moment the brother she once knew. But it faded and she saw the grown-up Fredegar again, what he had become the last several years.

"Oh! Strawberries!" said Melilot, peeking over Fred's shoulder. "It appears you two were on the same track."

Fred chuckled. "It appears we were."

"Estella," Melilot moved to her friend's side, ", here is your fairing."

Estella's hand sank down from the weight as Melilot set a large, brown tube-like object. "A bee's wax candle. It's lovely." She produced from her pocket a purple ribbon with a 'M' embroidered on it. "Here is yours."

"It's wonderful, Merry!" everyone heard Pippin exclaim. He held the intricately carved falcon figure up to the torchlight, studying its detail. He turned to his cousin, smiling broadly. "It's perfect."

"I'm happy you like it," Merry said, chuckling as he received a hug from his younger cousin.

"This isn't as fantastic as the falcon Merry gave you," Estella told Pippin after he set aside his previous fairing. "But, I hope it's practical." She held out the cane.

Pippin's face sank a little. He hated admitting he's leg bothered him, but he knew the cane could come in handy. "Thank you, Stella. It's a beautiful cane." He leaned close to her and whispered, "I'll put it to good use. Our secret?"

"Always."

Estella and Merry exchanged fairings last. She had thought long and hard on the perfect fairing, and luckily found it at the book booth. She held it close to her chest as she tapped Merry on the shoulder.

"Here's your fairing, Merry," she said, evenly. She handed the thick wrapped object to him.

"Here is yours as well," he replied, handing her a folded clothe.

Estella unfolded it to reveal a handkerchief with a 'B' and a green vine embroidered on a corner. She smiled. "This is a lovely embroidery, but 'B'?"

"For Bolger," Merry said, quickly.

"Oh yes!" Estella blushed. "Lovely gift, Merry. Why don't you open yours?"

Merry looked over his fairing, feelings it contents, then tugged off the piece of cloth wrapped around it.

Gold. Gold over green. Merry gaped, stunned by such a fancy fairing. He grazed a hand over its cover. The gold, shining letters on the cover read, "The Writings of Meriadoc Brandybuck of Buckland, The Shire". He turned to Estella behind him.

"This is no fairing!" he exclaimed, holding the book up. "This is a most fancy gift!"

"But it is a fairing!" Estella replied, grinning. "The bookbinder made it yesterday! You can ask him yourself, if you want proof. Do you like it?"

Merry glanced at the green and gold cover. "Of course I do! How could I not?" He flipped through the empty pages. "I know just what to write in here."

By then they had caught the interest of the six other hobbits on the quilt. Fred looked as stunned as Merry while Melilot just smiled knowingly. Sam and Rosie watched intently, wondering if perhaps they had missed the fact that their friends were courting. Pippin exchanged a grin with Frodo, who nodded at him.

If only Merry and Estella knew what their friends suspected.

The sky was clear as folks started off home. The Free Fair was over, but no one complained. It was the best fair anyone could remember, especially for Fredegar and Melilot when they gave an announcement that morning during breakfast.

"I have asked Mel to be my wife," said Fred, Melilot by his side wearing a budding smile.

It seemed for a moment everyone was stunned from excitement by the news, but Melilot's mother quickly recovered and rushed over to hug her daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law.

"We're going to be sisters!" Melilot exclaimed when Estella through her arms around her.

"I would be honored to be your sister," Estella replied, on the verge of tears.

Three days later, the household of Crickhollow was safely home. It was late, and right after taking care of the ponies (and having a late night snack), the three were off to bed.

"Is she asleep?"

"Appears to be."

"Won't the hammering wake her?"

"Maybe not. Now place the nail right…" Pause. "Here."

"Mind my fingers."

"Oh, please, Pip. I will!"

Estella rolled onto her back, a tapping noise repeating in her ear. She moaned, and scrunched her nose as she started to wake. Her eyes opened to slits.

"That should do it. Hand me the painting."

Estella's eyes opened wider, her mind clearing of its sleepy fog. Merry was straightening something on the wall, Pippin nodding in approval.

"What's going on?" she asked groggily, sitting up.

Merry and Pippin spun around. "Good morning, Estella!" Pippin greeted. "Merry has something for you." And he slipped from the room.

"What is this?"

Merry moved to the side. "Your fairing. I'm sorry it's late, but I wanted to surprise you."

Estella got to her feet, nabbing her sleep coat and tugging it on. Her eyes widened and mouth hung open at the sight before her. "Butter Field. But, why? You already gave me the kerchief."

"That was a ruse," Merry said, giving her a smug smile. "I know how much you wanted this painting. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to surprise you."

Estella ran her fingers lightly over the bumpy canvas. She hadn't seen her home in Budgeford for over five months. She gulped down the emotions that were welling up, and turned to her friend "Thank you, Merry. This is the nicest thing someone has ever done for me."

He hadn't expected such a response, but as long as she was happy…


	12. No More Running

**Chapter 12: No More Running**

_She rides with grace, with ease, the flowing of her curls.  
_  
Merry blinked at the sentence his quill had produced. He wasn't much for  
writing poetry. Actually, he didn't really have a poetic bone in his  
body. He was straightforward, writing facts not poetry. Yet, she had  
inspired him that morning.

He and Estella had been riding beside the Brandywine. Pippin was off at  
Brandy Hall to visit his father, who was there on business. Riding  
together was a pleasure for Merry. He could stare at Estella without her  
knowing. It felt childish, but nowadays, he lived for those moments.

Merry watched, enthralled by the way her light brown curls bounced  
against her back as she galloped ahead. He wished at that moment he could  
pull her in front of him on his pony, wrap his arms around her waist, and  
just feel her warmed against him.

Merry shook himself out of his reverie. He'd held her before, and she had  
held him. He knew he loved her, but what he wanted to do to Estella that  
morning made him blush at the tips of his ears. Merry gritted his teeth  
and clenched his fingers tightly around the quill. The conversation he'd  
with Frodo a week ago echoed in his mind. He wanted to move, but he hadn't.

"Tea time!" he heard and turned to see Estella pushing the door open  
with her back - a tray in her hands. She set it down on the small table by the  
armchair in the corner. Merry turned back to the half-used page of his  
book, closing it so she couldn't see what he had written.

Merry glanced out of the corner of his eye. "You need not bring me a tray."

Estella looked down, cheeks flushing at his stern tone. "But I always  
bring you trays when you're in your study, silly hobbit."

"You need not to."

Estella moved to his side, a teacup and saucer in her hand, "I like to,  
Merry."

"Really," his voice became desperate, "Stella, you don't need to."

"But, Merry-" Estella said, carefully.

"You're not my WIFE!"

Stunned silence. Estella stood frozen, her face contorted as if she had  
been slapped. The cup and saucer in her hand hit the desk, clattering  
loudly and splashing hot tea onto the parchments beside it.

Merry bit his tongue. He hadn't said what he said out of anger towards  
her. Hurting Estella was the last thing he desired. He said what he said  
out of anger towards himself for not telling her straightway how he truly felt.

"Estella, wait!" he called after her as she ran out the study. By the  
time he was up and out of the room, she had disappeared from the cottage.  
He knew her too well, and found her in the first place he thought to look  
- the bench against the vine-covered lattice in the garden. Estella was  
on the bench, knees pulled close to her chest with her arms around them.

"Stella?"

"Please leave me alone, Merry."

"I won't."

Estella raised her head, revealing delicate tears on her cheeks. She was  
crying, and Merry could have slapped himself with a whip for making her  
cry. "It seems you don't want me around."

"That's not true!" Merry knelt in front of Estella, grabbing her  
arms. "When you're not around, I miss you. I'm sorry I said what I did to you, Stella."

"Are you sorry you said it or sorry for what you said?"

"Why?" Merry said, confused.

Estella swallowed hard, eyes darting to the ground. She steeled herself  
for whatever came next. "I wish I were your wife."

Merry sat back on his bottom, stunned at what he just heard. How long had  
he wanted to hear those words? He finally looked at Estella. "I wish with  
all my being that you were my wife. I wish I could hold you and kiss you  
and show how much I love you. I don't ever want you to go away. I could  
not bear being without you, Estella."

Estella chanced a look at Merry. He caught her eye, giving her the  
courage to ask, "Do you mean that?"

Merry grasped her chin so she could not look away. "I want you and only  
you as my wife, Stella. Will you accept my hand?"

She could not believe this was so easy. Like out of a dream, he had more  
than willingly asked her to be his wife. Estella blinked. An odd wave of  
sorrow and delight rushed through her. She wanted this from Merry, but…

When her mother died when she was a tweenager, being married one day and  
starting a new family barely crossed her mind. When she became dedicated  
to something, she gave her whole self to it. The thought of her father  
and the fact that she walked away so suddenly lingered in her mind like a  
grave outside her bedroom window. As much as she had tried, she hadn't  
closed that part of her life.

Estella smiled a small smile. "I accept your hand." Merry's face  
unfroze into a broad smile. "But," His face slowly fell as she went on,  
"you'll have to wait."

"What do you mean?"

Estella focused on his eyes, trying her hardest not to break down. "I  
came here to run away, and found much more than just a sanctuary. Being  
here has been a bandage for my wound. I need to heal."

"But, there will still be a scar," Merry stumbled out, "You never are completely healed."

"A scar is better than an bandaged wound."

"What are you saying, Stella?"

"I need to go back to Budgeford. I haven't been there since I walked out  
the night my father died. I need to go back and face it before we move  
forward. I know you must understand."

He didn't want to, but he had to let her go. Just as he had went through  
the terrors of what happened on the quest, he had found a way to heal,  
even if it did leave a scar. "Do what you must, but come back soon."

"I will." She took Merry's face in her hands, and leaned in close.  
"Don't fret. I am yours. I always will be. I love you, Merry"

He tangled a hand in her curls. "I love you, Stella." Merry wrapped  
his arms around Estella's waist, resting his head on her lap. She held him  
close to her, not wanting to let go.

"Must you leave?"

Estella smiled warmly at Pippin. He had become like a little brother to  
her, just as he was with Merry. A very tall and hungry little brother who  
would miss her cooking more than her. Estella didn't mind. With Fatty  
Bolger as an older brother, she was use to her cooking being missed more  
than her. "I'll try not to be gone too long."

Pippin sighed in playful relief. "I am thankful to hear that. I cannot  
last too long without your hot cakes." He squeezed her with a hug before  
she moved to say goodbye to Merry.

"Are you sure you do not wish me to come?"

Estella bit her bottom lip, taking his hands in hers. "I need to do this  
alone. I'll be all right, Merry."

"I cannot ride with you there?"

"If you do, I wouldn't be able to leave you. I need to say goodbye now.  
I'll be safe on the road. I know Doderic or Merimas will escort me to Budgeford."

Merry lowered his head, nodding. He did not wish to release her hands.  
They weren't as soft as down as some lass' were, but they were Estella's  
hands and they fit right in his. He leaned close as if to kiss her, but  
instead whispered in her ear, "Come back to me soon."

Estella nodded, her curls brushing his cheek. "I will." With that,  
she placed a kiss under his eye.

A slight grin appeared on Merry's face. "You missed."

"No, I didn't."

He helped her on her pony, and with one last goodbye, she was gone.  
Merry's face fell dismally. Pippin slung an arm around his cousin's  
shoulders, pulling him towards the cottage.

"So, Merry, what is this buisness about her 'missing'?"

As she rounded the curve of the path heading to Brandy Hall, Estella  
slowed her pony to a trot. She sucked in, hastily wiping away the tears  
streaking down her cheeks. Her heart burned wanting desperately to make a  
turnabout and rush back into Merry's embrace. She knew she couldn't. If  
she were to ever move on without the past haunting her, it had to be now.


	13. At a Glance

**Chapter 13: At a Glance**

_He was finally asleep. She was ashamed to admit it, but she liked when her father was asleep. It was the only time he seemed to be at total peace. But also she could do her work without worry or just sit on the front step with the door open. When he was asleep, she was at peace as well._

_Estella jumped at the sound of a knock at the door. She did not need to fear the ruffians. The day before, a hobbit from Tuckborough had stopped to inform her the ruffians were being run out of the Shire. He tried to go on, but the only question on her mind was – where is Fredegar?_

_"I haven't heard word on Fatty Bolger. I'm sorry, Miss Estella" he had replied._

_She spent the rest of the day and night curled up next to her father worrying herself sick. She had to get up the next morning, even if she didn't want to. She disregarded her dish rag in the water basin, and hurried to the window to see who was outside. A thin and frail looking hobbit was being carefully taken from a carriage. His face was sunken in, but she knew who he was._

_"Freddy!" cried Estella, when she flung open the door, not hesitating to run. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck, but stopped short. Fredegar was no longer Fatty. His arms and legs were like sticks, no wonder he was being carried! "Oh," Estella's voice strained._

_"It's not as bad as it looks, dear sister" huffed out Fred with some effort._

_"The healer of Michel Delving checked over Fat-Fredegar, and said he will recover" Merimas Brandybuck told Estella as the other two hobbits carried Fred to his bedroom. "Gradually feed him a little each day until his stomach can handle more food."_

_Estella nodded, absently. "Thank you for bringing him home."_

_"It's hurt, Stella."_

_"I know, Freddy, but the healer said your stomach must get used to food again."_

_Fred snorted. "Something I never thought I'd have to go through. Getting use to food again – hmph!"_

_"Come now, Fredegar! You'll get better soon."_

_Estella grabbed the tray from the bedside table, and stalked out of the room. Just as she expected, Fred was being a baby about his situation. When it came to food, he could turn into a baby and grate her nerves. She heaved a sigh at the sound of a knock at the door._

_"Good day, Estella," greeted Merry, hand on the hilt of his sword. "Hello Meriadoc," Estella replied snappishly, removing a loose curl out of her face._

_"May I visit with Fredegar?"_

_"Please do," she replied exasperated, gesturing for Merry to come._

_Merry grinned. "Is he giving you a hard time?"_

_"You know how Fred can be. He can be very loving, saying how thankful he is to have his little sister helping him get well. Then he goes off into a string of bellyaches in that whiny voice of his." Merry quirked an eyebrow at her. "Yes, you know the one I'm talking about. I can't say where his whininess came from, but he surely didn't get it from our parents."_

_"I'll try to keep him busy for a couple of hours."_

_Estella touched his arm. "Thank you. A couple of hours would be wonderful. I need to changed Father's bedsheets anyway, and that takes some time." She turned to walk down the hall, but Merry caught her shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked, examining her face. "You look tired."_

_Estella stared sideways at the floor, smoothing her curls back. "It's been rough taking care of two bedridden charges, but I'm still on my feet and haven't collapsed yet." She raised her eyes to meet his. "I'm all right."_

_Merry nodded, and followed Estella down the hallway, tucking into Fredegar's room._

It was always her favorite ride – the road leading to the Bolger's smial. The leaves were changing on the trees. Soon, Butter Field would come into view. A minute later, there it was.

"Looks like you're finally home," Merimas said, glancing Estella's way as they closed the distance from the road to the front stoop of the smial.

"Yes, it does," replied Estella, shakily. Dread filled her stomach at the sight of her home. She'd lived there all her life. Leaving it so suddenly eight months earlier was easier than she ever thought it would be. They slide off their ponies, and led them to the stables around the hill. Merimas fetched the water as Estella fetched the feed. When they were through, they made their way to the front step.

"I assume you know your way around the smial, Massy?" asked Estella. Merimas nodded. "I do, with escorting my sisters here so many times."

"You wouldn't mind helping yourself then?" She glanced at the door, and the stone in her stomach sank a little more. "I really would rather wait for Freddy out here. I'm sure he'll be around soon."

"I don't mind, Stella. If you'd like company, just call me."

"All right."

With that, Merimas pushed open the door and disappeared inside. Estella settled on the bench beside the door, and wrapped her arms around her waist tightly, collapsing into herself. She was afraid, she had to admit. Returning was more than just coming home from an excursion. She was afraid of breaking into a thousand pieces on her entrance. Falling apart at the sight of where her father had died. But that was why she had returned, to face what she ran away from.

Galloping echoed from down the road, and Estella looked up to see Fred approaching. The corners of her mouth twitched. He must have been excercising his pony. He rode pass the hill, not even spotting Estella on the bench. She quickly rose and followed him. By the time she caught up with him, he was off his pony and leading it to the stable.

"Hullo, Freddy."

Fredegar spun around, letting go of the pony's reigns and nearly losing his balance. "Stella! This is a most pleasant surprise! Why are you here?"

Estella shrugged a shoulder. "I had to come home."

A delighted smile spread across Fred's wide face. "Dear sister, I knew you'd come back!" In two strides, Fred was in front of Estella and twirling her around. Estella let out a small yelp. She hated to tell Fred that she wasn't planning to be there very long, but that could wait forlater.


	14. Behind the Door

**Chapter 14: Behind the Door**

"How long has it been since you entered Father's room?"

Fred looked askance at her from across the table the following morning. Merimas had left for Buckland after breakfast. Now Fred and Estella were alone together eating second breakfast. She'd tried the night before not to cast a glance at her father's door, but she had failed. Ever since then the question had been burning her.

"Not since the undertaker took him away," replied Fred, rather shakily.

"Why do you ask?"

Estella forked the eggs on her plate. "I needed to know."

A couple of hours of meandering around, Estella finally found the courage to approach her father's bedroom. The door opened with a slight creek.

The curtains were drawn, making the room dark. Her legs felt like jelly, but she willed her foot to step forward. She made it to the window, slowly pulling the curtains apart. Sunlight spilled into the room.

Though the sunlight was warm, Estella shivered and rubbed the goosebumps on her arms as she sank to the bed. She twisted to the left, her father's pillow sitting peacefully beside her. It was still indented from where he had lain. Stray salt and pepper strands of hair were scattered over it.

Estella reached for the pillow, coddling it to her chest. She sucked in, trying hard not to cry. She had cried for so long, so many times. She was sick of her own tears, sick of sore eyes and the salty taste in her  
mouth.

"Stella."

She jerked up her head at Fred's voice. He sounded almost childlike, standing in the doorway with shoulders hunched over.

"Yes, Fred?"

Her brother hesitantly walked to the bed. "I lied to you. I didn't come in here when the undertaker took Father away. This is the first time since before he died that I have been in here."

"Freddy, why did you leave to lead the rebellion?"

Fred looked startled at the question that seemed to come from nowhere,  
but he answered without fault. "You know why."

"I only know what I assumed. You never told me _your_ reason."

Fred plopped down beside her, chin touching his chest. "Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Sam left me in charge of the cottage at Crickhollow when they went off into the Old Forest. I was suppose to stay there to divert attention, but when those black-clad phantoms came I ran for the hills and well, you know how I was after that happened."

Estella nodded. "You didn't recognize me for two days."

"I was so ashamed of how I reacted." Fred leaned forward, elbows on  
his knees, rubbing his eyes furiously.

"But Fred," Estella caught his wrists, feeling more like a mother than  
a sister to him as she stopped him from rubbing his eyes sore. "It's only fair that you were frightened. I'm sure that's how any hobbit would have reacted."

Fred turned a miserable face to her. "Compared to what the four Travellers did, I really was a coward."

Estella bit her lip. She had called him a coward more times than she could remember. She never meant it in the way he was meaning it though.

"Then the ruffians invaded, and something needed to be done. Folco told me he wished someone would drive out the ruffians. That was my chance. I knew I needed to do something, or things might get worse."

"You never told me that." Estella swallowed, feeling as if she'd been stung. "We use to share everything with each other-"

"- until Father became ill," he finished.

"It's hard to talk to someone who is never around," Estella said, bluntly.

Fred snorted. "Leading the rebellion was a good excuse not to be home."

Estella looked surprised at the admittance. "I loved Father dearly, but to see such a strong hobbit dwindle away-"

"It's the hardest thing to go through." They exchanged an understanding glance.

Fred grasped his sister's hand. "You're stronger than I am, Stella."

"No, Fred. We're strong in different ways. If you were a coward, you would never have led the rebellion. Despite my anger for you leaving us," she stroked his curls, "you were so brave to fight for the Shire's freedom."

She was sick of her own tears, but those of others she could handle and was glad of it. Fred's eyes welled up, and unaccustomed tears flowed down his cheeks. "Can you ever forgive me for not being here?"

"O dear brother." Estella wrapped her arms around Fred, pulling him to her. "I forgive you."


	15. More Than Just a Letter

Chapter 15: More Than Just a Letter

"Good afternoon, Fatty!"

"Good afternoon to you as well, Milo!" Fred greeted back as the post hobbit trotted his pony up the lane.

"I have two letters from Buckland." Milo pulled his pony to a stop, and drew out two envelopes. Fred stepped up, taking them. "One's for you and the other for Miss Estella." He cocked his head, curiously. "Is she back living here?"

Fred nodded with a smile. "She is. Two weeks now. It's good to have my baby sister back home."

"Tell her hello for me." Milo turned his pony around. "I best be off."

"Have a fine day, Milo!" Fred called out. He headed for the smial, gaze down inspecting the envelopes. He smiled. One was from Melilot, and the other didn't have a name.

"Stella, I have a letter for you," said Fred, finding his sister in the stable.

Estella halted in mid-brush on her pony. "A letter for me?" She moved to Fred's side. "From whom?"

Fred inspected it once more, though rather uselessly. "It's from Buckland, but no name is written on it."

"That's curious," Estella replied, taking the envelope from him and inspecting it herself. She blinked, suddenly recognizing the handwriting. She had seen it many times watching Merry scribble down his findings on herbs. She breathed in deeply, working to conceal her delight. "Who's your letter from?" she asked, placing the attention on Fred.

"Mel."

"Could it be a love letter?" she hinted, playfully.

The tips of Fred's ears turned a shade of red. "Estella, that's none of your business," he replied seriously, but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

"I had best leave you to your darling's letter," Estella said, slipping out of the stable before Fred could retort. She started off at a hurried pace then shot off through Butter Field. She knew the land around her smial better than anyone - she suspected - in her family.

Across the field, a low-lying tree sat alone. Estella plopped down between two large roots protruding from the ground. She tugged at the wax seal, careful not to rip the unblemished envelope. She pulled out the letter, unfolding it eagerly. A smile spread over her lips as she began to read:

My beloved Stella,

We did not discuss sending letters to one another, but I needed to talk to you somehow. Please excuse my words. I'm not a poet, and this letter may sound very formal, instead of personal. I'll try my best to make it personal.

Let me start with, I miss you terribly. I miss your presence and friendship and beauty and your cooking. Pippin misses your cooking too. He often complains of how repetitive our meals can be. That is why we have spent most luncheons and dinners at Brandy Hall. Tomorrow, we shall be leaving for Bag End to visit Frodo. I'm sure Rose is starting to show by now.

I had a horrible dream several nights ago. I remember feeling sorrow from losing someone very dear to me. The only imagine I recall is watching a white ship sail into the sunset. Oh Estella, I awoke, frightened by the dream. I felt awful for waking Pippin, but I needed to tell to someone of it.

Enough darkness. You're the light I want to see. I miss our rides together. Watching you ride ahead, looking over your shoulder at me. You have only been in my arms a few times, but I yearn to hold you. I wish we could have found our love for each other sooner, but it was meant for now.

You must think I'm gushing. Well, I am, but it's from my heart. I look forward to seeing you again. I love you, Estella.

Significantly yours,  
Merry

Hand on her heart and wearing watery smile, Estella sighed. This fluttery feeling in her stomach was new. She barely had time as a tweenager to develop a crush. Now she was in love with a wonderful hobbit who loved her back. She rushed across Butter Field to the smial.

The sound of galloping caught Sam's ear as he dug a hole for a begonia he was planting in the side garden. He peered over his shoulder then shook his head. He should have known it was just Merry and Pippin arriving. He lay his spade down and stood, wiping his hands on his breeches.

"Good day, sir! How was your ride over here?"

"Long and uneventful, as usual," Pippin answered, slowing his pony to a halt.

Sam walked over to them, petting the two huffing beast. "You want me to take them to the stable?"

"That's all right, Sam," replied Merry. "We'll get them settled."

"I thought you might like to know, Mr. Merry, that a letter came for you today," Sam said, as the three started off for the stables. "From Miss Estella."

Merry's head snapped round to peer at Sam in surprise. "Estella sent me a letter here?"

"Yes, sir. Mr. Frodo took it to his study for safekeeping until you arrived."

A smile threatened to break on Merry's face.

"Merry, just go and read the letter from your beloved before you burst," Pippin interjected, nabbing the reins of his cousin's pony.

"So, they're finally together?" Merry heard Sam ask as he walked to Bag End's front door.

"Cousin?"

Frodo turned in his chair to see Merry standing in the doorway of his study. He smiled, pushing his chair back and standing. "Come in, Merry. Did you have a safe trip?"

"Yes," he replied, giving his cousin a loving hug.

Frodo looked over his shoulder down the hallway. "Where is Pippin?"

"He's at the stables with Sam." Merry sounded anxious, and Frodo took note of it.

"I guess Sam told you of the letter from Miss Bolger that came for you today."

Merry blushed slightly, and nodded. "He did."

Frodo stepped over to his desk, picking up an envelope off it. He presented it to Merry. "I assume you have something to tell me," he said in a serious tone, but a grin played on his lips.

"Would it appease you if I said I asked Estella to marry me?" Merry replied, mischievously.

"It would indeed!" Frodo clamped a hand on Merry's shoulder, proudly. "What did she say?"

"Well, she accepted my proposal." Merry looked longingly down at the envelope in his hand.

Frodo followed his eyes. "The envelope is from Budgeford. Did Estella return home?"

Merry nodded. "She did, about two weeks ago. Estella needs to heal before she can give herself fully to me."

"I understand."

With that, Frodo left Merry to read Estella's letter in private. Merry gently broke the wax seal, and pulled out the letter. It read:

My dearest Merry,

I was surprised to receive a letter from you. I read it right away, and it warmed my heart deeply just to read words you had written. I hope to receive more letters from you, if you wish to write them.

Freddy and I are doing well. We're starting to understand one another again. So much has changed, and at times it feels as if nothing has changed at all. The one thing I dreaded the most, I did the second day I was back. I walked into my Father's bedroom, and I was all right. I didn't think I would be, but I was.

I think of you often, especially at night while lying in my bed. It's easy to say that you don't realize how much more you love someone until they're not around anymore, but it's true. I miss walking into the kitchen every morning and finding a flower on the windowsill, or seeing your smiling face waiting outside by the window to give one to me. I honestly believe that on days you sleep in, you picked the flower the night before and have it ready in the vase for me in the morning. I haven't caught you yet, but I know I will when we marry.

I hope you and Pippin made it to Bag End well enough. I knew to send this letter there, so you would get it. Give Frodo, Sam, and Rose my love. Tell Pippin to be patient with meals. I am not certain how much longer I will be here. I think Freddy and I need more time, and I need more time here in Budgeford. Please write me until I am at your side again and we are before family and friends giving ourselves to each other. I look forward to that day. Until then, I'll think of you often and miss you with a yearning heart. I love you, Merry.

Your lady,  
Estella

Merry leaned against his cousin's desk, skimming over the letter again. Estella had been clever enough to write him at Bag End, and that made him smile through prickling tears. It was true what she had said about realizing how much more you love someone until they're not around. Because at the moment, Merry loved Estella more than he had ever.

He wondered if his cousin would mind him borrowing a sheet of parchment and quill. 


End file.
